Advice for a Nursing student

[Beyound the sky]

I am writing for an objective viewpoint on my situation. So here goes my story...

I was admitted into the nursing program into a very known college in Florida this summer, I did really well in all of my classes( As and Bs), but when it came to passing Fundamental Clinicals ( the brief besside assessment) I failed. I was given a second change to remediate but my anxiety got the best of me ( believe me I practiced, but I should have done more)... So, I talked to my advisor, and she intructed me to submit a petition ( which I got readmitted to on the basis that I do not fail any current couse/ future course to remain in the program)..... I am now retaking my Fundamental Clinical Lab ( its been about 3 weeks now) and next week I have to pass checkfoffs and the brief beside assessment.

Because of my failure, I have soo much anxiety and stress to the point that I have lost almost 10 pounds-- I am also worried that I might not do well. The funny thing is I know I have enough confident to pass if I stop obessing over my failure, but it keeps bothering me because I see the same instructors daily, I cant really tell my classmates that I failed because -- even though they sbconsciously dont mean to-- they will alienate me and think less of me.

Since starting Clinicals, everything seems to be wrong. When I got readmtted into the program, the head nursing coordinator told me because they admitted too many students, they will have to move me to a different hospital because my old hospital is only accepting SBN students this fall ( so no upper dvision students).. Because I swtiched hospitals, I have been having problems with ATI. I had to email my school to ask them if they could help me, and in the end nothing was solved because apparently they havent actually put me on the rooster for the new hospital ( I dont know if they are waiting for me to fail or they truly just dont care). Because I am not on the rooster, I dont cannot recieve updated information from my school about my new hospial orientation.... I can only rely on the paper I was given when I got readmitted. Today, I was supposed to have hospital orientation, I went to the hospital but I was the only one there becasuse its either they moved the date to a different time-- Im really not sure, so I emailed the instructor that was is in charge of that hospital. I am not recieved any answer.

At this point I am seriously consider if this field is for me. Everything I have worked for is going down the drain and it seems no one cares. I feel like my instructors find me annoying because I am emailing them problem after problem. I feel sick to my stomach that I have to pretend each time I go to clinicals. I have soo much stress, anxiety that somtimes I feel a knot at my chest.. I need a breathing room but with everything that is happening I dont have one. I want to persevere through this but I dont if I can.

I have a hard time telling my parents ( see my parents are AFrican and it will break my moms heart if I tell her I am having second thoughts... plus I have a twin who is doing well in the program, so If I fail I will be the problem child). Originally I wanted to go intot he law field but I was discouraged... I like nursing, so I decided that somwhere along the line I will get my BSN degee and then get some law degree ( lke a Nurse Attorney or SANE).

I honestly dont know what to do at this point. I really wanto to pass but I dont know if this is GOd's way of telling me to do what I really love-- Law. I know is an overly saturated field and honestly I am scared of doing it....I want to atleast pass my checkoffs and see my next step.

So if anyone has an idea or suggestions,I would like to hear from other perspectives..

[Natasha, RN, BSN]

If you love law, then go for it. It's the gut feeling you need to follow :) You can return to nursing later in life if you still feel a passion for it... I did. It is my second career and so far I am loving it, but it is not for everyone. I would like to assume that your parents would be proud of you for pursuing your dreams, whatever career path that may be. Hugs :)

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

You are the one living your life, not your parents, not your twin, you. You need to do what will make you happy, not anyone else. I'm guessing your anxiety is causing you to be a little disorganized and that is not going to help you in nursing school. You missed orientation? Those are documented clinical hours at my school. I would think those hours need to be made up some how. You need to have a meeting with someone about what is going on in clinical. Talk to the director of the program if you are not getting responses from your instructor. My school has a chain of command for issue with any class or clinical. Go up the chain of command. And before you worry about checking off, see what the disciplinary action will be for missing orientation. Do you not have a syllabus? That should have the info on it about where to meet and when. If there is a time change, the clinical instructor should be informing you, not the hospital.

You just seem very disorganized and timid to me, which is causing you big issues here. You are an adult now, and need to stop worrying about your parents thinking you are a problem child. Go and speak to your instructors and find out what is going on. Especially if they are not responding to emails. They should have office hours. We also get personal phone numbers for our instructors and times that we can text or call if there are problems. You should not be relying on emails.

[Beyound the sky]

Thank you! I really needed some words of encouragement and not sarcasm. I like nursing and would want to continue despite all that's happening.. I do believe it's for me :)

[Beyound the sky]

I do plan to see my instructor/ call her for clarification. I do think my anxiety did get the best of and I am praying and working towards it. I am not a procrastinator nod di I rely on people opinion. I am not as timid as I may sound-- If you knew my story you would know why I want to make my mom happy. She has been my sole encouragement even when I didn't have $$ had had to work for $$in order to attend nursing school. I am the oldest child so the pressure it's a little bit more... I do agree I should consider my happiness and that's something I am thinking about.

Anyways thanks for your response, I appreciate it!

[cmj806]

Don't give up! You can do it! Just try to work on your anxiety. I remember having anxiety during my fundamentals bedside assessment! I was so nervous my lab instructor made me leave and come back an hour later.

[direw0lf, BSN]

I agree so much with Heather ..you are worrying about so many unnecessary things..such as about your classmates alienating you, your mom etc. The thing is as I read your post I kept thinking nursing and how you feel are very separate. What I mean is, it's not that nursing is the problem or difficulty but maybe some anxiety disorder or insecurity or whatever the case is. I think if you had more control over the inner problems you would do well outside ..I think you'd have known the right hospital orientation date/time for example without all the inner worry. But this is just my perception.

[LoveMyBugs, BSN, CNA, RN]

I think you need to take a break from school and re-examine why you are pursuing nursing. Also go to your schools health clinic/student support center and get evaluated for test anxiety. Losing 10lbs due to stress and anxiety is a big flag and you need some help learning how to manage your anxiety.

BTW- nursing is a high anxiety job, and if the bedside assessment check off sends you spinning then please re-think this career choice. I would hate for you to make it through school and get on the floor and find out this truly isn't for you.

From what I read I don't think your really in it. If you want to be a lawyer, get on the path to be in law school.

You had mentioned SANE that is a high anxiety job, you are working with crime victims in their most vulnerable time after their attack. High stress as you are the one performing the exam and you are the one collecting and preserving the evidence which equals more stress and anxiety.

Let your twin rock the nursing program and you go be awesome and whatever truly inspires and motivates you.

[Beyound the sky]

UPDATE:

I did not miss Clinicals!--it turns out that I was not put on the rooster early enough so I went and saw my instructor after passing th brief bedside assessment and she added me. So, now I am able to receive update on Clinicals. Also, my anxiety level has gone down a bit after passing the skills and BBA. Right now I want to start reading for the upcoming semester ( Medsurg1)