I'm really new on these boards, and I just wanted to get advice from people who have more experience than me. I've read a lot of threads about military wives pursuing nursing degrees, and long distance relationships, and I just don't know which route to take.
I've signed myself up for my pre-reqs for an accelerated nursing program. I know which school I'd like to go to, but my issue is timing; I have to turn in the application at least a year before I'd like to start. I am in a long-distance relationship with an officer in the Air Force and he wants me to move out to be with him when I am finished with my pre-reqs (in December.)
I know I have a lot of options to weigh here:
1) Tell him "not yet," turn in my application for the school I want to go to here, and then wait for my courses to start (about a year and a half, at least, until they start... then a year of school) and hope we last through that time.
2) Move out to be with him with the pre-reqs under my belt. I don't want to attend nursing school
where he is, because there are only 2 accelerated programs there and the NCLEX pass-rates are (from what I've heard and read) terrible. His suggestion is that we get married, and when his time is up where he is, he goes for an ROTC job back where we're from (and where I want to go to school) so that I can still attend the school -- and with his help (monetarily and emotionally.)
I really would love to become a nurse. The work excites me, and I love the idea of being able to support myself or being able to contribute to the income of my family. But, I also love my guy and he is the person I want to be with. He's my best friend, and it's hard to be apart all the time.
I'm 23 years old, almost 24. I don't know why I feel so rushed, but I feel like now is the time to get the degree -- but the idea of putting more strain on our relationship (we've already been long distance for a year) breaks my heart. Am I rushing the degree? Should I just wait a couple of years?
Apr 14, '11
Please don't take this the wrong way, but you're 23/24, and that's still really young. You have no idea how much you (and your boyfriend) are going to change in the next few years. Your 20s are all about finding out who you are, trying new things, and growing as a person.
The best case scenario is that you and your boyfriend will grow in complementary ways and end up together regardless. More likely, you'll find some new differences that may or may not affect your relationship.
Don't forget that no one goes into a marriage planning to get divorced. I know you can't imagine that happening to you, but it happens every day to people like you, in relationships like yours. Multiple studies show that the earlier you marry, the more likely you are to divorce. http://www.divorcerate.org/ http://www.suite101.com/content/divo...-later-a129099
My advice is hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Do your prereqs and your accelerated program where you are, or at the best school you can find. Take the next 3-4 years to focus on getting yourself ahead. 3-4 years seems like a lot, but you'll be so busy it will go by like that! After that, you'll be able to contribute a lot to your family, or support yourself if the relationship doesn't work.
Again, I can't stress enough how much you and your boyfriend are going to change and grow in the next few years, and how unpredictable life is. I really hope everything works out for you two, but putting your life on hold for a relationship is a huge risk. Before you decide to get married, you need to have a 100% secure way to support yourself, and your potential children, if the relationship doesn't work.
Last edit by rocket surgery on Apr 14, '11