what to do with a year's worth of nursing?

[wishiwereanurse, BSN, RN]

so I've been an RN now for a year now...and I'm goin to work in 1.5 hrs for another night shift, and I have not slept because I am just anxious and hating my job..i just started this med/surg job 6 mos ago, and the past 3 nights they put me on charge duty with new grads, and though I got through those nights I am dreading that tonight is going to be another one of those nights...I seriously feel that I am not ready to be in charge as I am still learning and just pairing me up with another newbie adds insult to injury..i wanna scream out loud, "what's my nurse manager thinking?" and no my head will not get big with the "they put you on charge because you know your stuff" compliments because I know where I am and I am not where they think I am...

I want to say something about this but I am also afraid that I will be criticized by my nurse manager or my coworkers that I am being a baby and that I need to pull up my nurse panties some more...but I've been staying up 24hrs or more on my day offs just being anxious and dreading to go to work...this feels even worse than when I worked in a nursing home...

I love being a nurse and I don't mind doing bedside nursing...but i hate livin a life full of fear and no sleep...

[lovelRN]

You have to let you Nurse Manager know immediately. Im sure your manager is sleeping well at night, and you deserve the same. Just let her know how you feel and see what happens. Forget what everbody is going to think of you, only you can stand up for yourself. I hope that helps a bit.:):)

[lovelRN]

Oh yeah, you have enough experience where you can transfer to a different unit.

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

Tell your manager you're not ready to be charge nurse. Don't be whiney, weak or wobbly. Be firm, look her in the eye and stand your ground. At the very least you will have voiced your misgivings and alerted your superiors that you are not qualified. Put it in writing. At the very least, if something happens to a pt on your watch, there will be a paper trail showing your reluctance to be boss. I'm not sure how far up you want to go, but follow the chain of command up.

[wsuRN09]

As you put it, "pull up your nurse panties" and go talk to your nurse manager. If you're losing sleep as much as you say, being charge is not good for you and it's not fair to the other nurses who need the support. When you talk to the NM don't be whinny as someone else said but you do need to be assertive and let her/him know what's going on or this situation will continue and nothing good will come of it. If your NM is a good their job and is a reasonable person, they should understand and appreciate your honesty. If not, maybe you should transfer before it gets worse. Just a thought. Good luck:nurse: