what do you do when a patient cries

[lalalalexi]

I am pretty new to nursing and just started working on a post surgical floor. On our floor we get a lot of post-mastectomy patients and last night one of my patients had just come back from having a double mastectomy. She seemed very matter-of-fact about everything and seemed to be dealing with it just fine. I went into her room to assess her drains and she started crying. Her husband was there and came right over to comfort her but I felt awkward. I didn't know what to say or do, or if she even would appreciate me saying or doing anything. I made sure to get her some tissues, but other than that I didn't know what to do. I asked others on my floor how they deal with upset, crying patients and they told me "you just get used to it" and said that mastectomy patients are generally very emotional (for obvious reasons). I am just wondering how others deal with patients who are sad and crying. I am a very caring and sensitive person and I want to be able to convey that to my patients without seeming too emotional or weird or too cold and standoffish.

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

the key in crying with a patient is to make sure your crying doesn't become something where YOU are the focus rather than them....

[SunnyAndrsn]

Usually, the less words the better. An arm around the shoulder, holding a hand, and handing them some tissues is the best. Avoid glib, quick responses, and review the principles of therapuetic communication.

Many pts. feel "stupid" for crying, and will voice this (in my experience), and I just try to let them know that there is nothing wrong with crying, they have been through a lot/are going through a lot, and are entitled to express their emotions. I occasionally add that I'm glad they are comfortable enough around me to do that.

If safe to do so, I'll close the door when I leave and say something like "I'm just going to close the door to give you more privacy right now."

In long term care, I have the unfortunate job of informing families when a loved one is getting close to dying, or has passed. I hate those conversations, I always feel horrible. I try to offer the family comfort, tell them there loved one was in no pain, who was with them when they died, or why I believe their time is growing short. When families arrive to sit vigil, we'll offer a snack try, and I try to spend a few minutes talking about what to expect, and the medications I'll be giving to keep them as comfortable as possible, how often to expect us in the room, and then end the conversation by asking if they have any questions for me. I do that to end the conversation, because often the families are having a hard time and want to keep talking to me...and I will of course, have other pts. to attend to...and also conveys a willingness to stay and talk and keep myself available if they need me.

[SunnyAndrsn]

Everyone has given such great responses! And it's nice knowing how many of you are so caring out there. I think, in a way, I am also afraid to show that I care because I know that sometimes if I stay and listen and hold their hand while they cry etc, I'm going to start crying too. I know some people say that it's ok to show some emotion, but I'm afraid it looks unprofessional to cry with a patient, especially when you've just met them.

no, it's okay...but keep the focus on the pt.

[MedSurgeMess]

I usually say something like "Mary, I'm going to slip out and give you a few minutes privacy, unless you want me to stay right now. I'll be back in about 5 minutes. If you need someone to talk to, I'm a good listener, as well as the other staff on this floor." This gives them the chance to be alone and reflect, but leaves the option of them having me stay if they want. They also know that I, as well as any of my coworkers, are willing to listen if they need to vent or just cry.