Were you your family's caregiver growing up?

[alphafe]

I've been thinking about this based on some nurses (and other helping professionals/colleagues) I have known and my own work with battered women/rape survivors, etc.

I've noticed that lots of people in the helping profession grew up in families where their role was the "caregiver," "rescuer," "parent to the parents," etc.

(Can you tell I was trained as a family therapist?!

I'm wondering how much this plays into nursing as a career choice, the

comfort with the role, yet the resentment of it as well. I'm not judging here, just describing a pattern I've noticed. I think the ongoing need to get approval for being "good enough" is part of it too. Pleasing, even those for whom what we do will *never* be enough.

Please comment! Babette

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

Interesting. My mother died when I was eleven, and I did take on some caretaking after that. Dad was a total wreck for three years or so, and even after he got back on his feet, I did most of the housekeeping.

I was a carpenter in business with my Dad for many years, but when he retired I decided to find a more secure job. Wound up working in a hospital, and now in nursing school.

My mom left nursing school to marry my father. So, I spent the first half of my working life following in Dad's footsteps, and now I'm about to spend the second half following in Mom's.

I must be the bestest son, ever.

I did help with caring for my grandmother when she got older, too.

Except for the breakdown around our family tragedy, I wouldn't say we were partricularly dysfunctional. I did have a lot of responsibility, but that happens, sometimes. And I've always had nurturing impulses toward my critters.

[apaisRN, RN, CRNA]

My family is pretty dysfunctional but I wouldn't say I was a caregiver. I think I just like what I do and having a secure job.