So I have finally come to the end of a grueling 4 year BSN program, and likely won't be valedictorian, nor will have an opportunity to stand up and make a toast, so I figure that this a place where I can take the podium and speak.
We made it!
I know that there are going to be people that try to correct me on that statement, "We" didn't do it..., "I" did it.
They are wrong.
I'm just talking to you right now little guy. Don't pay attention to the other people here. I know that you have spent around 75% of your life mixed up into my mission. I want to start with some apologies first, because they are due.
I am sorry that the beginning of your life was rough. I didn't realize that when I gave birth at the age of 18, that I was merely a child myself.
I am sorry that you had to travel with me on my path to success, I would have given anything for you to have taken a taxi cab ahead to this future point in our lives. Unfortunately, life dictates that you walk by my side the entire way.
Now my little guy, I would much rather thank you....
Thank you for you kisses each and every night that you have given me, even when I was short tempered because I had to study, write two papers, and do an online group project.
Thank you for accepting my less than perfect parenting, when I took you once again to rent a blockbuster movie that you would watch 5 times in a row so I could study, write two papers and do an online project.
Thank you for eating canned meals on the go at an hour way past "dinner time", because I had to take an evening class.
Thank you for living in 6 different homes over the course of me pursuing post secondary education. I didn't do it intentionally, but I admired your strength in switching schools, and you always did it with a smile. I know how hard that is, and I know that you dealt with it better than I would have any day, all day long.
Thank you for trying, in the best way that you knew, to protect me. I remember, little guy, the last place we lived in. The one that was infested with bedbugs. You called to me from your loft bed..."they can't get you up here mum". I crawled into bed with my text book, and you snuggled in, and fell asleep with your hand curled under my chin. I cried myself to sleep, with visions of congenital heart defects, and hopelessness for what our lives had become. I don't believe that we got bit that night. Thank you for protecting us.
Thank you for Going on mum's "adventures". I know that driving to the car shop, going to the university registrars office, driving to pick up police checks, were not in anyway fun and adventurous. I kinda thought it was boring too. Thank you for being enthusiastic about all our adventures. They will only get better. Trust me.
Thank you for standing in line with me at the food bank. I thought those people were scary looking too.
Thank you for waking up at 4:30 am on my clinical days, as I carried you to the car in your PJ's, snow blowing every which way, so I could drop you off at a babysitters and make it on time to hear shift report. I am not a morning person either (and I hate snow).
On the topic of clinical days, thank you for switching your schedule to accommodate mine. I know that my internship was hard for both of us. I didn't know that I would be on straight 12 hour nights. Thank you for eating breakfast and lunch in bed next to me while I slept. I would never have had it that way, but paying for a babysitter around the clock was out of our grasp.
Thank you for bragging about your mom, during your grade two class "Family Sharing Day". Although you had the facts a bit mixed up, to this day still, the rumor persists around the school staff that I am doctor, I thank you for being proud of me
Thank you for helping me celebrate being on Dean's List, I absolutely enjoyed the popcorn and movie. I want you to know I was celebrating for you as well.
Thank you little guy (and I know that you hate it when I call you that, I realize, with no sarcasm, that you are a very big boy at 8) for holding my hand in a symbolic way during our entire adventure.
I could thank you until the day I died, for all your sacrifices, your optimism in life and your unknown (to you) support that you gave. There isn't enough space for me to type everything that we have been through. In the coming year, our lives are going to change. Mum is getting married, we have started looking at homes, I will be employed....
But, just me and you know what the journey was like.
We have finally made it.
Thank you Son.