Revised Cover letter

  1. 1
    I have tried to take the advice given to me in another thread to improve the cover letter that will precede my resume. I am not applying for a specific area just forwarding my resume (as suggested by a hospital board member/family friend) to the recruiter. My referral is going to follow up with the recruiter once I let them know I have sent my resume. There is a good chance I will be offered a job at this facility (and that would be so wonderful!!) so I do not want to mess it up with a poorly written cover letter. Please let me know what you think!

    Dear Ms. Recruiter:
    I am writing to express my interest in serving as a Registered Nurse for XYZ Hospital. I will graduate from XYZ College this month, with an Associate of Science Degree in Nursing. I believe my educational background and work experience will contribute significantly to your health care system.

    In addition to performing basic nursing skills, my clinical experiences have provided me with the opportunity to plan, implement, and evaluate the unique needs of patients both independently and collaboratively. These experiences have been extremely beneficial and enabled me to confirm my commitment to the field of nursing. I was able to provide holistic care to patients and their families that focused on all aspects of health: physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychosocial. I remain passionate about nursing and recognize that teamwork and communication are essential. These components, in addition to a solid foundation of nursing skills, are necessary to provide safe and effective patient-centered care. I will bring to my next employer strong leadership and organizational skills as well as desire to learn and be a part of a effective team. These attributes, coupled with my compassion, patience, and patient advocacy, are what I offer as a new graduate nurse.

    I welcome the opportunity to meet with you to discuss the possible employment opportunities available at XYZ Hospital. You may reach me any time at (555) 555-555. I look forward to hearing from you to schedule an interview at your convenience.

    Thank you for your time and consideration.

    Sincerely,



    New Nurse
    kaliRN likes this.
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  4. 9 Comments so far...

  5. 0
    It's definitely a huge improvement! I see you found the links from the allnurses staff as helpful as I did. The only thing I would offer and always try to do with my cover letter is cite something specific to the organization to which I am applying. Be it a program offered to their patients or a part of their mission statement. It helps the recruiter see you don't just want a job, you want a job THERE.

    All the best and you did an excellent job incorporating the advice given you.
  6. 0
    I spent way more time than I would like to admit, working on this today! I did go to the hospitals website - figuring I could take something from their mission statement but it is the most basic statement: "The mission of XYZ Hospital is to provide integrated, community-oriented, quality health care"...So I will have to find something else to use. Thanks again!
    Quote from kaliRN
    It's definitely a huge improvement! I see you found the links from the allnurses staff as helpful as I did. The only thing I would offer and always try to do with my cover letter is cite something specific to the organization to which I am applying. Be it a program offered to their patients or a part of their mission statement. It helps the recruiter see you don't just want a job, you want a job THERE.

    All the best and you did an excellent job incorporating the advice given you.
  7. 0
    I would agree with what was said above. I think if you want to find a job in this market, you probably need to tailor your cover letter/resume a little bit (depends on your experience though, a new-grad resume might not have a lot of information to move around) for each specific job you apply for. Take myself for example, as a SICU RN with 10 years in. If I was applying for a management position, I would definitely make an effort to highlight my charge experience, committee work, special projects, etc. as opposed to my patient care skills. Make sense?
  8. 0
    Also from what I've learned in school, we were told to mention short term and long-term goals that we would like to accomplish in 5 or so and how their hospital would help you accomplish that goal.. It doesn't have to be too specific, but if you would like to become certified in a specialty, definetely if you are thinking about going back to get your BSN or onto graduate school for your NP, things like that.
  9. 1
    Quote from guiltysins
    Also from what I've learned in school, we were told to mention short term and long-term goals that we would like to accomplish in 5 or so and how their hospital would help you accomplish that goal.. It doesn't have to be too specific, but if you would like to become certified in a specialty, definetely if you are thinking about going back to get your BSN or onto graduate school for your NP, things like that.
    I disagree with this. If you're willing to start in any department, you could be pigeonholing yourself and end up not getting an interview. Example, say you say in your cover letter, "My long time goal has been to participate in maternal health and wellness and seek an opportunity to further my skills in the areas of labor and delivery and mother/baby care. I eventually hope to become a certified nurse midwife and continue my education in these areas to serve the female residents of the community." Ok, that sounds great, right? But it's a competitive world and really, you'd take anything to get a foot in the door. I'm the recruiter and I have 400 resumes that really, really want to take care of babies but what I have openings for is surgery or ICU or med/surg. Guess who's not getting called for that interview?

    The time to talk about long term goals is during the interview. The cover letter should be short, to the point, and well written, which is what you have now. I have not hired nurses, but I have been a hiring manager for a different industry. Of course I'm not the expert or anything, but I wouldn't do anything that would inadvertently put me out of consideration for a job.

    I actually think that your cover letter is very good as it stands.
    * RN * likes this.
  10. 0
    Thanks! I am starting a BSN program this fall online but I feel like it might be better to skip writing my goals - having never worked as a RN I don't know that I could honestly say what I want to do.
    Quote from guiltysins
    Also from what I've learned in school, we were told to mention short term and long-term goals that we would like to accomplish in 5 or so and how their hospital would help you accomplish that goal.. It doesn't have to be too specific, but if you would like to become certified in a specialty, definetely if you are thinking about going back to get your BSN or onto graduate school for your NP, things like that.
  11. 0
    I feel the same way - I WILL take any staff RN job as long as it is for a good company. Thank you so much for the kind words!
    Quote from JulieCVICURN
    I disagree with this. If you're willing to start in any department, you could be pigeonholing yourself and end up not getting an interview. Example, say you say in your cover letter, "My long time goal has been to participate in maternal health and wellness and seek an opportunity to further my skills in the areas of labor and delivery and mother/baby care. I eventually hope to become a certified nurse midwife and continue my education in these areas to serve the female residents of the community." Ok, that sounds great, right? But it's a competitive world and really, you'd take anything to get a foot in the door. I'm the recruiter and I have 400 resumes that really, really want to take care of babies but what I have openings for is surgery or ICU or med/surg. Guess who's not getting called for that interview?

    The time to talk about long term goals is during the interview. The cover letter should be short, to the point, and well written, which is what you have now. I have not hired nurses, but I have been a hiring manager for a different industry. Of course I'm not the expert or anything, but I wouldn't do anything that would inadvertently put me out of consideration for a job.

    I actually think that your cover letter is very good as it stands.
  12. 0
    I would say it looks good OP. The only two suggestions I would make are as someone else noted, to add a few specifics about that hospital so it isn't a generic cover letter and secondly to change the word "serving" in your first sentence. That sounds like an odd choice of introductory lines in a cover letter to me. I would say working as or being employed as or in seeking employment as.
  13. 0
    thanks!
    I thought the same thing about "serve" but my rationale for using it was that in several places on their website they referred to their nurses, MD's etc as serving the people or whatever and also had it in their code of ethics so I thought it might be good to word it like that as well. Thinking maybe they would pick up on it and see that I payed attention or cared to look into their hospital. A few other things I included are along the same lines - things I picked up as things they value in their employees. I don't know, I faxed it along with my resume today! Excited/nervous/full of emotion!!!


    Quote from wherehastimegone
    I would say it looks good OP. The and see that I only two suggestions I would make are as someone else noted, to add a few specifics about that hospital so it isn't a generic cover letter and secondly to change the word "serving" in your first sentence. That sounds like an odd choice of introductory lines in a cover letter to me. I would say working as or being employed as or in seeking employment as.


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