Problem with husband and nursing

[prairiegirl]

Hi there. I am a student nurse and will start my clinicals in the fall. Ever since I started, I have been unsure about if I really want to be a RN or not, but I figure I will never know unless I actually get in there and do it. And I think if I can get over all my fears etc. I will actually love it. Anyways....my husband is not thrilled about the idea of me working in a hospital. He worries I'll contract some disease or be abused by patients etc. I dont think I want to work in a hospital forever, but I would like to for at least 3 years after graduation to get experience. Then I'd like to either go back to school for NP or go into somtime of patient education or something. I am not sure what to do. His worries make me even more uneasy than I was before. And I dont plan on working ER or anything. I am mostly interested in pediatrics, neotnatal, cardiac, or oncology, or even surgical (I really dont know but definatelly not ER). Anyone have any advice? I need to assure my husband I will be ok and I wont be going to the wolves every day I go to work. I need some assurance too as he makes me uneasy by worry so much.

Thanks

[prairiegirl]

In any case, you have to be able to take care of YOU------what if something were to happen to your husband (disability or heaven forbid, death) or your marriage?

Never be in a position whereby you are completely dependent on anyone else. You never, ever know when you will have to look out for your own needs. GO for IT. If he really loves you, he will respect that choice and support it, if you put it to him in those terms. You NEED to be somewhat INDEPENDENT in the world today.....no woman should depend totally on a man for her wellbeing and livlihood.

WEll, we had a talk last night. I told my husband that I want to be a nurse. He said that he just wants me to be happy and will try not to worry. I talked to him about my goals. I want to go on to be a NP eventually. It isnt that he doesnt want me to be a nurse or work, but I think he is a little jealous. HE just got out of the Navy this past summer quite unexpectantly. He dislocated his knee and the Navy did not want to pay for treatment or to move him to a desk job, so they just discharged him early. Now he is back in school for engineering because that is what he did in the Navy, but does not enjoy it. And cant figure out what else to do. So, I think things will be just fine for us, and I am excited about starting clinicals in the fall. Thanks for all your advice.

[Nurse Ratched, RN]

Now he is back in school for engineering because that is what he did in the Navy, but does not enjoy it.

Another nurse/engineer pairing! :) There are several of us here. The important thing is to understand 2 things - about men and about the engineering mind. He is in an identity crisis right now because he is not in his traditional role of supporting the two of you, advancing in his career, and confident that he is in the right place in his life. Being an engineer makes it that much harder for him to tolerate this.

He is likely scared that you will may be unhappy in your job, as he currently is, and also that you will become more independent and able to support yourself. This terrifies men, esp if they don't feel confident in the husband/breadwinner role.

Reassure him that you love him and that this is for the benefit of you as a COUPLE. Engineering is a volatile field. You will always be able to support the two of you if need be. Focus on how becoming a nurse will allow you to achieve your shared goals.

[prairiegirl]

Another nurse/engineer pairing! :) There are several of us here. The important thing is to understand 2 things - about men and about the engineering mind. He is in an identity crisis right now because he is not in his traditional role of supporting the two of you, advancing in his career, and confident that he is in the right place in his life. Being an engineer makes it that much harder for him to tolerate this.

He is likely scared that you will may be unhappy in your job, as he currently is, and also that you will become more independent and able to support yourself. This terrifies men, esp if they don't feel confident in the husband/breadwinner role.

Reassure him that you love him and that this is for the benefit of you as a COUPLE. Engineering is a volatile field. You will always be able to support the two of you if need be. Focus on how becoming a nurse will allow you to achieve your shared goals.

Yes I know about the volatile field of engineering. My dad spent 2 years trying to find a new engineering job after being layed off due to company sizedown. And he has done some BIG projects in his career. At least if I am a nurse, we can still eat if need be.