Problem with husband and nursing - page 2

Hi there. I am a student nurse and will start my clinicals in the fall. Ever since I started, I have been unsure about if I really want to be a RN or not, but I figure I will never know unless I... Read More

  1. by   Nurse Ratched
    Quote from prairiegirl
    Now he is back in school for engineering because that is what he did in the Navy, but does not enjoy it.
    Another nurse/engineer pairing! There are several of us here. The important thing is to understand 2 things - about men and about the engineering mind. He is in an identity crisis right now because he is not in his traditional role of supporting the two of you, advancing in his career, and confident that he is in the right place in his life. Being an engineer makes it that much harder for him to tolerate this.

    He is likely scared that you will may be unhappy in your job, as he currently is, and also that you will become more independent and able to support yourself. This terrifies men, esp if they don't feel confident in the husband/breadwinner role.

    Reassure him that you love him and that this is for the benefit of you as a COUPLE. Engineering is a volatile field. You will always be able to support the two of you if need be. Focus on how becoming a nurse will allow you to achieve your shared goals.
  2. by   prairiegirl
    Quote from Nurse Ratched
    Another nurse/engineer pairing! There are several of us here. The important thing is to understand 2 things - about men and about the engineering mind. He is in an identity crisis right now because he is not in his traditional role of supporting the two of you, advancing in his career, and confident that he is in the right place in his life. Being an engineer makes it that much harder for him to tolerate this.

    He is likely scared that you will may be unhappy in your job, as he currently is, and also that you will become more independent and able to support yourself. This terrifies men, esp if they don't feel confident in the husband/breadwinner role.

    Reassure him that you love him and that this is for the benefit of you as a COUPLE. Engineering is a volatile field. You will always be able to support the two of you if need be. Focus on how becoming a nurse will allow you to achieve your shared goals.

    Yes I know about the volatile field of engineering. My dad spent 2 years trying to find a new engineering job after being layed off due to company sizedown. And he has done some BIG projects in his career. At least if I am a nurse, we can still eat if need be.

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