first, congrats on applying! i think i know the school you are applying to
.great advice that was given to me that i was always pass is that admissions commitees should want to vote you for president after reading your statement.here we go... of course these are only suggestions
i do not think you have to answer everything in a specific order. i think the paragraph about yourself should be first because it grabs the reader's interest.
serving in the united states air force for seven years instilled work ethic, confidence, and leadership into me. while in the usaf i realized i wanted to help people instead of trying to kill them. i also thought that nursing would be the best profession to accomplish my goal of helping people. after being honorably discharged i began nursing school at the university of north florida, which afforded me with ample leadership opportunities. my peers at that program voted me president of the student nursing association. as president, i attended and was a delegate on the floor at the florida student nurses association state convention in 2009. i also attended national student nurse association conventions as a delegate in 2008 and 2009 and had the opportunity to speak on the floor at the house of delegates at both national conventions. i eagerly accepted an invitation to join sigma theta tau and am currently a member. advocating for the patient has been my number one goal since becoming a nurse. i do this day in and day out as a floor nurse at -----. wanting to better advocate for the patient is natural for me, which is why i want to progress from bsn to dnp.
you will notice the last three sentences came from further down. i did not know exactly how to word them but i think they belong up here. this paragraph and your last paragraph are great because they really sell you. i edited and rearranged this one quite a bit to make it flow a little better.
the first sentence "i am applying..." should be taken out. i think you should add more to this paragraph. one example is what you expect to learn(clinicals in different specialties, different cultures, etc.). also, you bring up something great further on when you talk about being seen as a "peer" by those such as mds. talk about how you expect this program to allow you to "roll with the best of 'em". don't actually say that:d. you know what i mean?
my expectations when i'm accepted is that the university of -------- of nursing prepares me to be an advance care practitioner in line with the state standards of doctoral prepared nurse practitioners. how about my biggest expectation is that this program will prepare me to obtain a dnp in line with state standards. i expect that the staff and faculty be there when i need help understanding complex concepts in school. i understand what you are saying but maybe a different approach would help like the needs of dnp students will be met by both faculty and staff. i also expect the faculty and staff to mentor and groom me into a dnp. how about groom me into an exceptional advanced practice nurse. i expect that through hard work from myself and the mentoring of the faculty, in both the clinical setting and the classroom setting will lead me to be the best nurse practitioner i can be. in-turn this will let me take care of my patients with the latest and best evidence based practices (ebp)
i will obtain the degree of doctorate of nursing practice(dnp) because this will enable me to better advocate for my patient population by using ebp. i know i have been fortunate in my life and by obtaining a dnp this will let me at least attempt to give back to my local community throughout my lifetime. you say at least attempt. how about obtaining a dnp will also help me give back to my local community. i would like to volunteer my education and skill set ( try expertise)to those that don't have the means to pay for healthcare and to meet them in their communities. giving back to society is an important life-long goal of mine and i believe the university of ------ dnp program will allow me to accomplish this goal. i combined two sentences. i also believe that by obtaining a doctorate level education in my career, it will force other professions doctoral prepared disciplines to see me and dnp's as peers i think it is important that the american association of colleges of nursing stick to the 2015 deadline of entry level for practitioners from msn to dnp. this sentence is not needed because the"peer" part would have been mentioned earlier and the second part does not belong in your statement of goals because it will take focus off you. instead talk about the specific specialization you want to work in and in what type of area(urban, rural, overseas, underserved populations). make them see why they need you specifically.
i have an affinity towards knowledge that surrounds problems with the heart. i think that the heart is an amazing organ, it helps sustain life and if it is not pumping it takes life away. my affinity towards cardiac pathology stems from my family history of myocardial infarctions(just changed the sentence a little). the more i know about the heart the more i can do to prevent an mi from happening to myself and those that are under my care. i would like my final project to have something to do with heart health. i will complete my final project and go straight through to the dnp with out opting out. i see no difficulties in completing the dnp.how about i do not anticipate any personal difficulties in completing dnp. i want to earn the dnp degree and i will sacrifice to do so.what will you sacrifice? they are going to wonder since you mentioned it. maybe you should take this out and instead write a sentence or two about the dedication it will take to complete this degree. hint: research what dnp programs are like.
all you need now is a strong conclusion paragraph.
hope this helps!