Please Help! Goals statement for Grad school rough draft!

  1. 0
    hey all, this is my 3rd edition of this and i am sicking of looking at it, i just need some outside eyes to tell me what i am missing or areas i can expound upon, i am not worried about the apa formatting yet just worried about content. please be rough! i want to have the best possible goals statement. criteria is listed below and below that is what i wrote... thanks!!!!!

    [color=#444444][color=#444444]essay (statement of goals) (double-spaced, 1500 word maximum, using apa guidelines) describing:
    [color=#444444][color=#444444]your academic expectations of the program.
    [color=#444444][color=#444444]how the dnp will affect your future career.
    [color=#444444][color=#444444]the experiences that you feel have best prepared you for doctoral study (e.g., clinical, educational, or leadership experiences).
    [color=#444444][color=#444444]a clinical problem or area of interest in which you might be interested in developing your final project.
    [color=#444444][color=#444444]what are the most difficult issues are that you anticipate while in the dnp program and you plan to handle them?

    iím applying for the doctorate of nursing practice (dnp) program. my expectations when iím accepted is that the university of -------- of nursing prepares me to be an advance care practitioner in line with the state standards of doctoral prepared nurse practitioners. i expect that the staff and faculty be there when i need help understanding complex concepts in school. i also expect the faculty and staff to mentor and groom me into a dnp. i expect that through hard work from myself and the mentoring of the faculty, in both the clinical setting and the classroom setting will lead me to be the best nurse practitioner i can be. in-turn this will let me take care of my patients with the latest and best evidence based practices (ebp)
    i will obtain the degree of doctorate of nursing practice(dnp) because this will enable me to better advocate for my patient population by using ebp. i know i have been fortunate in my life and by obtaining a dnp this will let me at least attempt to give back to my local community throughout my lifetime . i would like to volunteer my education and skill set to those that donít have the means to pay for healthcare and to meet them in their communities. giving back to society is an important life-long goal of mine. the university of ------ doctorate of nursing practice program will allow me give back to society. i also believe that by obtaining a doctorate level education in my career, it will force other professions doctoral prepared disciplines to see me and dnpís as peers i think it is important that the american association of colleges of nursing stick to the 2015 deadline of entry level for practitioners from msn to dnp.
    advocating for the patient is the number one goal of the nursing. i do this day in and day out as a floor nurse at ------ wanting to better advocate for the patient is just a natural progression. i feel that working as a floor nurse has prepared me to have a good foundation ok knowledge that will let me hit the ground running in the bsn to dnp program.
    among other leadership experiences i served for almost eight years in the united states air force. i left the united states air force because i wanted to help people instead of trying to kill them. i was honorably discharged in 2005. i thought there is no better profession than nursing to accomplish my goal of helping people. i have a deep respect for the united states armed forces and i owe much of where i am right now to the military. the military instilled work ethic, confidence and leadership into me. once i was discharged i started nursing school at the university of north florida (unf). the university of north florida afforded me with ample leadership opportunities. my peers at that program voted me into being the president of the student nursing association. in this position i attended and was a delegate on the floor at florida student nurses association state convention (daytona beach, florida 2009). i also attended two national student nurse association conventions as a delegate (dallas, texas 2008 and nashville, tennessee 2009). i had the opportunity to speak on the floor at the house of delegates at both national conventions. i was also selected to join sigma theta tau which i very eagerly accepted and i am still a member.
    i have an affinity towards knowledge that surrounds problems with the heart. i think that the heart is an amazing organ, it helps sustain life and if it is not pumping it takes life away. the reason i have such affinity towards hearts, is that myocardial infarctions run in the men in my family, the more i know about the heart the more i can do to prevent an mi from happening to myself and those that are under my care. i would like my final project to have something to do with heart health. i will complete my final project and go straight through to the dnp with out opting out. i see no difficulties in completing the dnp. i want to earn the dnp degree and i will sacrifice to do so.
  2. 2 Comments so far...

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    sgaik,
    first, congrats on applying! i think i know the school you are applying to.great advice that was given to me that i was always pass is that admissions commitees should want to vote you for president after reading your statement.here we go... of course these are only suggestions

    i do not think you have to answer everything in a specific order. i think the paragraph about yourself should be first because it grabs the reader's interest.
    first paragraph
    serving in the united states air force for seven years instilled work ethic, confidence, and leadership into me. while in the usaf i realized i wanted to help people instead of trying to kill them. i also thought that nursing would be the best profession to accomplish my goal of helping people. after being honorably discharged i began nursing school at the university of north florida, which afforded me with ample leadership opportunities. my peers at that program voted me president of the student nursing association. as president, i attended and was a delegate on the floor at the florida student nurses association state convention in 2009. i also attended national student nurse association conventions as a delegate in 2008 and 2009 and had the opportunity to speak on the floor at the house of delegates at both national conventions. i eagerly accepted an invitation to join sigma theta tau and am currently a member. advocating for the patient has been my number one goal since becoming a nurse. i do this day in and day out as a floor nurse at -----. wanting to better advocate for the patient is natural for me, which is why i want to progress from bsn to dnp.
    you will notice the last three sentences came from further down. i did not know exactly how to word them but i think they belong up here. this paragraph and your last paragraph are great because they really sell you. i edited and rearranged this one quite a bit to make it flow a little better.
    second paragraph
    the first sentence "i am applying..." should be taken out. i think you should add more to this paragraph. one example is what you expect to learn(clinicals in different specialties, different cultures, etc.). also, you bring up something great further on when you talk about being seen as a "peer" by those such as mds. talk about how you expect this program to allow you to "roll with the best of 'em". don't actually say that:d. you know what i mean?
    my expectations when iím accepted is that the university of -------- of nursing prepares me to be an advance care practitioner in line with the state standards of doctoral prepared nurse practitioners. how about my biggest expectation is that this program will prepare me to obtain a dnp in line with state standards. i expect that the staff and faculty be there when i need help understanding complex concepts in school. i understand what you are saying but maybe a different approach would help like the needs of dnp students will be met by both faculty and staff. i also expect the faculty and staff to mentor and groom me into a dnp. how about groom me into an exceptional advanced practice nurse. i expect that through hard work from myself and the mentoring of the faculty, in both the clinical setting and the classroom setting will lead me to be the best nurse practitioner i can be. in-turn this will let me take care of my patients with the latest and best evidence based practices (ebp)
    third paragraph
    i will obtain the degree of doctorate of nursing practice(dnp) because this will enable me to better advocate for my patient population by using ebp. i know i have been fortunate in my life and by obtaining a dnp this will let me at least attempt to give back to my local community throughout my lifetime. you say at least attempt. how about obtaining a dnp will also help me give back to my local community. i would like to volunteer my education and skill set ( try expertise)to those that donít have the means to pay for healthcare and to meet them in their communities. giving back to society is an important life-long goal of mine and i believe the university of ------ dnp program will allow me to accomplish this goal. i combined two sentences. i also believe that by obtaining a doctorate level education in my career, it will force other professions doctoral prepared disciplines to see me and dnpís as peers i think it is important that the american association of colleges of nursing stick to the 2015 deadline of entry level for practitioners from msn to dnp. this sentence is not needed because the"peer" part would have been mentioned earlier and the second part does not belong in your statement of goals because it will take focus off you. instead talk about the specific specialization you want to work in and in what type of area(urban, rural, overseas, underserved populations). make them see why they need you specifically.
    fourth paragraph
    i have an affinity towards knowledge that surrounds problems with the heart. i think that the heart is an amazing organ, it helps sustain life and if it is not pumping it takes life away. my affinity towards cardiac pathology stems from my family history of myocardial infarctions(just changed the sentence a little). the more i know about the heart the more i can do to prevent an mi from happening to myself and those that are under my care. i would like my final project to have something to do with heart health. i will complete my final project and go straight through to the dnp with out opting out. i see no difficulties in completing the dnp.how about i do not anticipate any personal difficulties in completing dnp. i want to earn the dnp degree and i will sacrifice to do so.what will you sacrifice? they are going to wonder since you mentioned it. maybe you should take this out and instead write a sentence or two about the dedication it will take to complete this degree. hint: research what dnp programs are like.

    all you need now is a strong conclusion paragraph.
    hope this helps!
    Last edit by RN Sam on Feb 15, '10
  4. 0
    thanks for taking the time to read through and edit this


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