Newbie, 13yrs RN not working, no confidence so now what?? Anyone relate?

[dilynn58]

Hi there. Love the site and couldn't wait to be able to post here. Well, I want to keep this short if I can but.. I have been a nurse for 13 years. I worked in an ED level one trauma for 10 years. Got burned out, stressed out. It was a very difficult time with a divorce and all.Because of all the issues at the time, I requested an FMLA. The first request was denied. I was then called into the office and was asked to resign. The reason this was because of attendence to patient care. I would like to state I am also a Certified Sexual Assualt Nurse Examiner. I was very involved with the department from Hazmat, to sexual assualt, charge...I worked for the last 1o years with no "office calls". Also to note there was a manager at that time on a witch hunt. I was the hunted. (Funny however just last year she was asked to step down from the manager position due to staff concerns.} If I was such a bad nurse for all those years why didn't I get fired before. Remember the FMLA, well the day after I resigned it was approved with apologies for a mistake that HR had made. I have never gone back.

This was the beginning of the end. For the next 2 years I have been let go for "not a good fit", "skills don't seem up to par"., "Need to pick up speed".... I have never been fired for bad patient care. I have gone thru maybe 6 employers in the last 2 years. I tried many areas during that time from Dialysis to cardiology office, ED. So needless to say what is up with my skills?? Do nurses lose there sharpness over years, is nursing geared to the younger ones?

I moved back to my home area and tried to get work only to be blackballed by both the hospitals in the area. I was stated as rehirable..

I started working in a small ED a few months ago and also did some infusion nursing along with that. The staff in the infusion center were awesome and I don't have any problems.. I filled in after a week when a co-worker was out for bearevement. I started the ED portion of orientation with no problems. A few weeks into it, my daughters best friend died at age 26, I was diagnosed with heart failure (not sure where that came from). So I made it back to work and from that point on I had two "office meetings" the first was just a fyi about personal stuff and to much interaction with staff. Changed preceptor this one was older I thought I did well she stated I did. Then went to night shift preceptor was very young and I was watched like a hawk..She has been a nurse for 2 years. Got called in the office last week for concerns that I am not as up to par for someone with all this experience and maybe I should not work in the Ed and just stay with the infusion center..THAT SUCKED.

So here I am playing on the computer, only working about 20hours a week..I am sick and I don't know what to do. I cry all the time..

Somehelp give me advice as what to do next...

There is a posting for a full time days med-surg I have never done it before. But the manager is also the manager for the ED... I need a full-time job.

I may have to relocate to get a differnt job. I don't like this situation..

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Sorry it was long. I guess I needed to write this..