Just some thoughts I was thinking, about my job.

[tattooednursie, LVN]

I realize all that I write about how frusterated I am with my job anymore. Unfortunatly, it seems that the more I say that I hate it, the more I do hate it. I was going through some old papers and stuff today. I found an invitation and a program for my CNA graduation that I had kept for memories. After I saw those I felt the need to read back in the journal I had started to write in just a few months after I became an aide, and not to mention some ond posts and stuff on here. It brought back the memories, good and bad of starting as a CNA. I went through so many gosh darn ups and downs within the two years I worked there. I remembered all the times being yelled at, and then again all the times I have recieved encouragement. This field has pretty much forced me to grow up faster than I could imagine.

I asked myself these questions this morning. Why the heck did I go through 2 years of this to hate what I do for a living? Why? When exactly did my feelings change?

I really want to love my job, because I am taking care of sombody's Father, Mother, Husband, Wife, or Grandparent. I know that whenever a family member of mine goes into a hospital I want some one that puts their whole heart into what they do. I want to be that person whom all my patients, and their families can trust that I am going at this whole heartedly. It is way too hard to be that person.

I think it is the best feeling in the world to revieve a compliment from a patient, or at least get a smile or a chuckle out of them. That is what the nursing field is all about; Care, trust, and taking a daily emotional beating of ridicual from unkind, uncaring staff members to burn you out.

Sorry, this is just alot of babling, but I just needed to pour my heart out to someone. I'm having one of those cry baby days. If I don't tell some one how I feel I'l be a total wreck for the rest of my offday.

Thanks for listening to another session of 'Let's Whine and Cry with Mandi"

[warrior woman]

No Mandi. You are doing the right thing by soul searching. The fact of the matter is, you have to do what's right for YOU. No one else will look out for your well being, happiness, and sanity but YOU. Life is way too short to be miserable in your private life OR your job. If you feel disrespected and can't deal with it anymore to the piont where it effects your emotional health, vote with your feet and go to a place that's more supportive of its workers. Start researching other places discreetly, and when you feel the time is right make the switch. Do it for you. Your future patients will thank you in the end.

[orrnlori, RN]

No Mandi. You are doing the right thing by soul searching. The fact of the matter is, you have to do what's right for YOU. No one else will look out for your well being, happiness, and sanity but YOU. Life is way too short to be miserable in your private life OR your job. If you feel disrespected and can't deal with it anymore to the piont where it effects your emotional health, vote with your feet and go to a place that's more supportive of its workers. Start researching other places discreetly, and when you feel the time is right make the switch. Do it for you. Your future patients will thank you in the end.

I agree entirely. Life is short, way too short to be miserable and in doubt about yourself and your good qualities. There's lots of tech jobs out there. Maybe you'd like the ED or OR or some kind of tech position where the pace is more rapid but the patient stay is shorter. What about a doctor's office? Are you really only 18 years old? If so, you're way to young to be so miserable. What kind of job fuels your spirit and mind? Make a list of what you like and try to see where those ideals might fit in another area. Good luck. We're all here for you.