I really debated posting this (it gets a little raunchy for those who get offended easily) but I really need advice from other colleagues and can't discuss it at work with others.
A colleague has been rumored to have been viewing Media at work. I believe that she has been written up or disciplined for it in some way but that's just the rumor mill, nothing substantiated for sure.
I really enjoy working with her and we get along well. She has been nothing but helpful and has taught me plenty when I was new.
She has told several co-workers that she is involved in a "swinging" type lifestyle with her husband. She has never mentioned this to me but is apparantly quite open about it to some.
I have been very quick to remind my co-workers that what she does in her private life is none of our business (even though she's made it some people's business) and to leave her "swinging" lifestyle alone unless you plan to participate in it yourself, in which case it would be your business.
A few days ago, I was logging in to my e-mail at work before my shift, and her e-mail popped up (same ISP) as she must have forgotten to log out.
I saw graphic Mediao pics and quickly logged her off in fear that someone might see it. I figured that she had enough trouble and there were enough rumors to go around the unit, and I didn't need to add to it, so I never mentioned the incident to anyone at work other than my partner and one friend who, like me, disapproved of our colleagues snickering about her lifestyle..
But a few days later.....A trusted colleague and friend has also confirmed that the rumor is true and she worked with her during a slow night and witnessed her watching Media and chatting sexually to people online. (No patients were there or could see this stuff so that's not a factor.)
Why was she telling me about it when I didn't want any part of the rumors?
Because she then presented me with a calender that this co-worker left behind at work that I'm sure she didn't want any of us to see.
She has been logging all of our behavior at work that she deemed "inappropriate."
From reading the notes in the calender, I'm assuming that she's preparing for a lawsuit because she's anticipating getting fired for her internet activities at work, but that's just my interpretation of it.
She listed nurses by name watching DVD's during break or slow periods that contained foul language or other "inappropriate" for work material. She noted any off-color or foul comments or jokes by staff and listed dates and times.
Here's what disturbed me........
In the calender, she lists a date and time and noted me for "looking at pictures of naked kids online." -----What????
I couldn't believe it. I realize that she's trying to take the attention off herself, and as the only gay man on the unit, I'm a walking target for being labeled as a child Mediao freak/molester or whatever, so I just dismissed it as that and left it alone.
There are 4 of us who know about this calender and took it off the unit.
We have all sworn to secrecy about the calender until we decide what to do from here.
I made the mistake of telling my colleagues about my witnessing of her internet Media mail and now they are pressuring me to tell the manager what I saw online.
I only disclosed to them what I saw in her e-mail because I was upset and hurt about what she wrote about me looking at child Mediao online. I really liked working with her and I do not want to be one of those nurses who act in a retaliatory way and slander her because I myself do not know all of the facts.
I realize that she shouldn't be looking at Media or sexually chatting with people online at work, but what is my role here as a nurse and colleague?
I don't want to be part of this witch-hunt, so I'm reluctant to tell the manager what I saw.
In addition, although I know that it's just paranoia on my part and is complete B.S. on her part trying to take the attention off herself, I can't help but wonder if her comments about me looking at child Media online is going to hurt me later at some point, substantiated or not.
My colleagues who know about this are seriously pressuring me to tell the manager about what I saw, but my idea is to confront her privately about the calender and her comments written on it about us, as well as to tell her to stop looking at Media at work because we all know and are on to her.
I really don't know what to do about this. Advice?
