I am sure this is a silly question but I am truly curious. - page 2

by ~Mi Vida Loca~RN 1,473 Views | 15 Comments

Are their any rules about nurses crying? Like not if they see you shed a tear once you are fired, but is their anything that addresses this?? I was talking with a friend today about how easily I tear up now. I never used to be... Read More


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    There is no harm in crying.... we are humans, right? I know when I was a student, my tutor told us it was wrong to cry in front patients. Along the years, I realised, tearing when you see your long staying patient die is being human... I realised it was good in sharing their pain and grievances. Nursing is about caring and loving.....We are not ROBOTS! rdnrs:
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    I myself am a bit of a crier too! I cried twice throughout clinicals over a particular resident and his daughter (who was also crying). I would never sit there and bawl outloud with the family but if they see you wiping a tear or two away I think it's okay. She knew that I was taking great care of her father because I have a big heart. I think that it made her feel comfort there was someone who cared so much when she couldn't be there. I hope that I helped her to heal in a way because she didn't have the stress of thinking that her father was in bad hands prior to his passing. Even though she will probably never remember name, I hope that she remembers that I was there for her and her family in time of their need.
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    When I was going through nursing school I never shed a single tear over anything ...most of my classmates did though...over what i thought were tiny things in the big mix of things...then i passed boards and started as a nurse @ my ltc facility....I cried every single night for several months straight on my way home from work and all I could think was how much i hated my job and I thought I'd made a huge mistake becoming a nurse......then...my son was born and 8 weeks off did me good...I was recharged and ready to go back to it....and after that I was ok for the most part...way less crying...not as much aggravation with the paper work and cnas and families...I probably didnt cry again til the day after xmas in 2007 when I ran my first code.....By myself with 2 cnas and no help from any other nurses.....I was ****** to no end!...and I thought that what I had tried to do for this pt was in vain b/c he was gone....even though i found out later he survived 2 more days on a vent if that really counts. I felt soooo helpless in that situation...I watched that pt take his last breath and the RN who was working with me tried to argue me down that he was a DNR and I knew that he had just changed his status b/c he wanted to go marry his longtime gf when he was done with his therapy.....anyhow....for me that was very very very traumatic and the #1 thing I had feared since day 1 of nursing school...I was afraid of not remembering what to do...luckily I had my best aides with me that night....I thank God every day for that. We kept each other afloat.
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    these posts are making me tear up! LOL. I used to be very stoic! I never cried, especially in public. I had a baby (he's 8 months old now), & the flood gates opened!! I have found it comforts the family, that I care about them...that their loved one is not, "just another patient"! That is why we are nurses!!
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    Quote from dnp2004
    You might want to explore what may have changed in your life during the past 2 years. Perhaps an event at that time bothered you more than you realize.
    I had another kid but honestly, my whole life can compose about 10 Lifetime Movies of the weeks. I was raised in hell, to say the least, along with many others, I grew up and learned to cope and deal. I think as I get older though the uglyness of the world gets to me more. More than it used too and I think as I get older I am becoming more sensitive and letting my wall down more. I learned very early on not to be weak and that crying was a weakness. I was much like a guy in that respect. The only time you would see me cry is if I was angry and people knew if they ticked me off so bad I was crying it wasn't going to be pretty. There is no one specific thing though that has happened to make me more sensitive, I think it's just a whole combination of things throughout my life. But most of all, like I said, i think it's just more so that the uglyness of the world is weighing on me more and effecting me more than it used too.
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    Thanks everyone, I feel so much better now. I know I am not crying over depression, I have battled depression since I was 10 years old (probably younger) and have learned how to deal with it well now, I know when I need to get back on my meds for a while if things get to much. So I know it's not that because I am petty in tune with my mental health. I am however an extremely compassionate person. Sometimes even when I shouldn't be. Ie: When they showed the pictures of finding Suddam and dragging him out, I saw such a sadness in his eyes that I felt bad for him. I know I shouldn't have but I did. I won't aplogize for it either even when I was chastised for it. I mean my gosh, I didn't say he should be set free or anything but it made me sad to see the sadness and defeat in his eyes.

    Watching the show I spoke of in my first post, they set up these real life scenarios but all controlled to see how people react. They had an actor walking on a busy street and collapse and SO MANY people just chatted on their phone walking by, no one stopping to help and it just made me cry at how cold I sometimes feel the world has become.
    I dunno, but I am glad I am not alone and I am glad I won't get in trouble for it. I understand you can't be loosing it infront of patients, and I can usually control myself from getting like that. But I have no doubt if a family was sobbing over the loss of their teenager that had just passed I would probably want to offer them a hug and some tears as well. Just was never sure if this was not allowed or not.

    I appreciate your stories!


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