How do you handle difficult family members?

[NurseyPoo7]

How do you handle difficult family members, such as ones with multiple complaints... needy... never satisfied... ?

I have a situation where a family member is accusing the MDs of attempting to "off" her loved one (palliative care involved, but she is resistant/in denial). She kept me in the room 45 minutes complaining about multiple MDs, different nursing homes, etc.

[abbaking]

DiffiCULT (Hence the world Cult) family members and patients make our profession so much worse. For example, the other night I had a patient who complained to me for 15 minutes about her being cold and the heater not working. I am not the maintaince crew so I am not really the one to PUT THE BLAME ON. I told her I'd get her extra blankets and a bear hugger (hot air blower). "Do u have a blanket warmer?" No I am sorry to say we dont. "WHY NOT!!! XYZ Hospital down the street does". Well honeychild are you currently at XYZ hospital - NO GET OVER IT!

Even after we go out of our way to get things done for patient and families, they complain how long it took for us to get the job done. That bear hugger is not going to be yours much longer...its going to go to the LOL who needs it more that you. If she keeps wanting to keep making our lives hellish, we can move her into one of our 4 bed rooms with incontinent and vomiting patients.

[BradleyRN]

For example, the other night I had a patient who complained to me for 15 minutes about her being cold and the heater not working. I am not the maintaince crew so I am not really the one to PUT THE BLAME ON.

How many times does the maintenance crew drop by a room to ask the patient if everything is ok? If your answer is "none", then exactly who do you expect them to complain to? If i told you my heat didnt work, i wouldnt be "blaming" you, but i would hope you would find a solution, rather than getting defensive.

[sicushells, RN]

Night shift is the only answer (in my happy little mind, anyway). At least then you have a legitimate reason to "invite" them to go the heck home.

Sincerely though, many patients and their families have had a horrendous amount of stress related to the illness, and remembering that can make me a little more compassionate... while I'm inviting them to get the heck back home.