Gay / Lesbian patient resources for nurses?

[glbtnurse]

are there any resources that you know of on the web that discuss care of glbt patients? how do you find gay / lesbian nurses are treated at work in the hospitals? is there any difference how how patients treat them?

moderator note: returning this thread to view. posts that veered well off the original nursing topic of issues related to glbt patients and staff were culled. we ask that this thread not be used to argue morality questions or other issues. - ratched

[rauls0112]

Hello everyone,

Of the 23 yrs of nursing, I have never had a problem with caring for my patients. I agree with many of you, why should I disclose how I live or do outside the work place during work hours. As far as co-workers, there has never been an issue with orientation. There are the biased ones, but eventually they too come around and become a part of the practice team.

[nursemelani]

Jess, I love you madly, but what planet are you living on? Sexual preference discrimination is alive and well, and legal.

It's so much better and much more isolated that it was.

Amen. Unfortunately, those who would not dream of discriminating against someone because of their color, feel free to gay-bash because they think that it is a choice.

I used to take care of a little boy with CP. He had a healthy 13 year old brother. His Dad was a police officer, and seemed like a really nice guy, until we got into a conversation one day, and he said "I would rather have my son grow up to be a heroin addict than a homosexual". WOW!! It stays in my mind to this day because it was such a rude awakening, that seemingly nice people can be deeoly homophobic.

[JohnBearPA]

As an "out" gay man, who happens to also be a nurse (and a damn good one at that), I have a few things to comment on here.

First, sexual preference is NOT a choice. I have had many opportunities to enter into a "normal" heterosexual relationship with some very attractive women, but that's just not what feels natural to me. My "choice" was to not hurt someone's feelings, or try to be someone that I'm not.

Second, I am out at work, as I am in the rest of my life. I have encountered closed-minded people making snide remarks behind my back, or even to my face, been denied promotions, and even been fired from jobs I liked because of this. If heterosexual people don't have to hide who they love, why should I? That's life, and I live it on MY terms. I have a gay pride sticker on my truck as well as a nurse sticker. I'm proud of who I am and my accomplishments.

Third, I have seen people percieved as gay receive less-than-optimum care. I honestly don't think this is conciously done, it's just the nurse, CNA, or MD didn't want to deal with the pt's sexuality, and "cut corners". In that case, I would suggest the nurse ask a co-worker to take the pt and give the quality care the pt deserved.

I have heard both male and female co-workers discuss things I was very uncomfortable with, whether it was the sexual liason they had last night, the cramps from their period, or their views on current events that might not necessarily agree with mine. It is MY choice to walk away, and not insert myself into the conversation, as it is theirs if a co-worker asks me how my significant other is and that makes them uncomfortable.

I'm fairly fortunate, I "pass" for a straight male, am masculine in my appearance and mannerisms, but it's high time that society in general, and the nursing profession in particular, realize that prejudices don't belong here. Everyone should enjoy the same level of civil rights (gay discrimination IS legal), and be allowed to pursue whatever makes them happy, as long as it's legal. I pay the same taxes as my straight counterparts do, but yet can be fired if a homophobic DON happens to come into my facility. When these rights are equal, we will have taken a huge step in protecting everyone.

As for any GLBT forums, I'd be happy to help start one, and look forward to both the positive and negative remarks this posting will probably bring. When it comes down to it, we're all the same under the skin, no matter who we love or sleep with, so let's make an effort towards equality! I doubt gay people want "special" rights, just EQUAL rights.

Wishing everyone the realization of their hopes and dreams in 2006!

[pickledpepperRN]

I think nurses and students need training so we don't make the mistake I did in assuming a patient is straight.

It gets complicated but for once I will be brief.

[geekgolightly, BSN, RN]

p.s. johnbearPA you rock. :icon_hug:

[MultipurposeRN]

My concern is like some other folks'....it's difficult when the long term partner doesn't have DPOA or something like that, and family is allowed to make decisions and the partner isn't. That applies to same sex/opposite sex equally, unless it's a common law state. I was fortunate the first time I cared for a young gay man w/ HIV pneumonia in that his parents were very close to his partner and allowed him to visit and give any information we needed. But that's not always the case.

A resource board or site might be very helpful and could be a good insight into what people have to deal with in their careers.

[pickledpepperRN]

so how do we as nurses provide safe, therapeutic, effective nursing care to our patients who may be homosexual?

[JohnBearPA]

providing safe therapeutic care should be a given, no matter what the color, religion, or sexuality of the pt. Let's use some common sense here. Make an environment that the pt feels comfortable speaking about their concerns. Provide resources for pt, significant other, or family concerning POA, living wills, or anything else they need. Don't pass judgement, and keep your own beliefs out of it. We're here to be NURSES and provide care, not make the pt uncomfortable in talking about a s/o that may be the same sex as they are. This is common sense people, something we, as nurses, should have alot of. Just treat the pt as you would wish to be treated if you were in their place.

As for resources for the GLBT pt, I agree we do need a list of such resources to make available. We're all taught about cultural differences in nursing school, but how many programs hit on the GLBT thing? I was fortunate, as mine did. I was even asked my opinion of what our class covered from my prespective as a gay man. We need to open our minds and not treat homosexuality as a dirty little secret. When we make it comfortable enough for everyone to live their lives as they see fit, as long as no laws are broken, there will not be a "closet", and the problem will resolve itself.

[grimmy, RN]

i'll give you an example of what makes me upset:

i went to talk to a patient in the or to perform my preoperative assessment. i opened the chart and written everywhere in red pen is homosexual - high risk for hiv / hep c, tested negative, caution. i have operated on many people, from all walks of life ( known substance abusers, with hiv, with hep c etc ) but the nurses on the wards have usually written in the appropriate section ( known hiv risk or hep c +ve). i was disgusted with how it was plastered all over the place especially seeing how he was just tested and proven to be negative. why was he treated differently? i know promiscious unprotected sexual behavior that is often associated with the glbt population places you at risk for such diseases and i am not disputing that. but how can we educate and stop such discrimination as i just discribed. i felt sorry for this man because he read through his own chart, he knew what people were thinking , and i had to apoligise for the actions of others.

this is truly reprehensible. i, too, would find it necessary to report this sort of erroneous documentation. while some cultural and societal information is important to a chart, this sort of painting a target on a chart is beyond over-the-top. i think the problem with stopping discrimination is that there are lots of people that are all about discrimination. they don't want to be educated; in fact, some think we (you and i) need to be treated! i've always believed that my pt's sexual orientation is a part of who they are, and i wouldn't want to dismiss it. by the same token, i will also keep their information (all of it) confidential and give care appropriate to the circumstances. there's a long road ahead for the gltb community - i'm not saying its impossible, but there'll be lots of stumbling blocks. i'm supportive of change - believe me.

[grimmy, RN]

now if we could just let anyone who is not already married marry the partner of their choice, a lot of these issues would be moot.

ruby (happily married and wishing the same for everyone regardless of sexual orientation!)

:yeahthat: :yeahthat: :yeahthat: :yeahthat:

:yelclap: :yelclap: :yelclap: :yelclap:

[Rocknurse, MSN, APRN, NP]

I am ashamed to say that I am not out at work, and it's the first time I've ever remained in the closet. When I lived back home in England I was totally out because it was illegal for anyone to discriminate against gay people in the workplace, but over here in the US it's perfectly legal for anyone to discriminate anywhere and so I don't feel safe disclosing my lesbian orientation. Also, I find more people are religiously inclined over here and therefore more intolerant than in Europe.

I feel sad when my coworkers can casually mention something that they did at the weekend with their husbands or wives and I can't mention my female partner for fear of giving the game away. I've been with my partner for 5 years and we married in Europe 2 years ago but I don't say anything at all and it means that I don't bond with my coworkers and I feel they know nothing about me. Fear is isolating and prejudice divides people. I don't think straight people really understand just how much during their day that they "reveal" their heterosexuality. How many times a day do you casually mention your husband or wife to coworkers or patients? I constantly have to watch what I say and I hate it when people ask me if I am married. I usually just say no because it's easier than saying yes, knowing that the next question will be "what's your husband's name?" or "what does your husband do?". If I say my "partner" is an RT I know the next question will be "where?" and I don't want to say it because many people in this town know other people in other hospitals and then I'll be the subject of gossip and speculation.

I work with another gay man who is quietly out and its so refreshing to work with him because we can have little jokes between us. He can tell me about the male doctors that he has a crush on and I can tell him about the female APRN that I have a crush on and we can laugh about it and enjoy our shift all the more. It's such a relief to not not always have to pretend.

In England, if we had a patient who was gay and whose partner wanted to be there as next of kin, we would accept whoever claimed to be their next of kin. We treated people with respect and if the patient said their partner should know everything then we accepted that. It upsets me that the law could take away my rights over here. I feel vulnerable and sometimes people can react badly and violently when they discover you're gay. I hate that it's like that and I wish things were different but people are inherently prejudiced against things they are not familiar with. I could not tolerate a patients family requesting that I not look after their relative because I was a lesbian. I would be humiliated and horrified. At work I just keep my head down and do my job.