a family member gave me five dollars

[starbin]

I am an RN working in LTC. The son of a 97 years old lady forcibly kept five dollars in my pocket. I refused to take it and tried to return it to him but he did not take it back.

How do you handle such situations when family members force you to accept gratuity? I told that gentleman to buy some cookies for the staff (with that money) instead of offering it to me but he did not agree.

Later on, I gave that money to the aid (who was assigned to that lady) and she told me that she played Lotto with that money and won $26.

[Cattitude]

I think you see this type of giving where there is a longer, more intimate relationship between the caregiver and the patient, or patient's family - like in LTC, or home health care.

Yes this seems to be true. I never really got much one on one stuff when I worked in the hospital, more stuff for the unit. Now that I'm in home health, I do get little gifts from some of my patients. Initially I felt kind of funny accepting but than you realize how hurt they would be if you refuse.

It really DOES mean a lot to them to give. Although I have one patient that gives me really nice things and I have to tell her to stop. They are great gifts but she spends too much, Godiva chocolate, Yankee Candles, that type of thing. A 99 cent card means just as much to me. She's a sweety though and she spends that way on everyone. I've been taking care of her for 3 years and we're quite close. Home Health does that to you.

I think sometimes its a fine line, I remember once on med-surg, a pt's daughter tried to give me $. I told her absolutely no, I could not take it. The next night when I came in, she had left a check for $25 in a card in my mail slot. I ripped up the check. She gave another nurse $ too who did take it, to each their own.

[dschueler]

My aunt gives money to my grandmother's nurse at the LTC. The girl goes above and beyond. She went out and with her own money bought my grandmother shampoo, hair clips, makeup for her cheeks to be rosey, and my aunt insisted she take the check for $100 to use for my grandmother and gas money since she would not accept the money for herself, because the poor girl was spending her own money.

My aunt said she understood she couldn't take it, so she was going to put it in her pocket and there was no arguing about it. She took it and I suppose cashed it, but she told my aunt she kept it in a fund for my grandmother, and throughout the year has purchased small items for her, hair clips, brush, makeup, powder, underwear, etc.... the other thing is we all live far away from my grandma, so this way her nurse has money and if my grandmother needs something (she has dementia) she has it.

Patients there are not allowed to keep cash at all, and she likes to have her own money, so my dad will give her like $5 one dollar bills so my grandmother feels like she has money.....but they always take it from her and put it in her account....she thinks they steal from her, but she also sees people coming in her window all the time too...LOL I love my grandma!!! :)

PS, this is also a Christian (Baptist Village) LTC in Waycross, GA, and all the nurses are Christians and I have NEVER seen such a wonderful place. It does not have that LTC smell of urine smell, and they all really love the pts there like they were their own parents :)

Anyway...off topic.....I love the fact this lady would not take money for herself, but used her own money to help my grandma :)

What an inspiration these people are who give so unselfishly of themselves for the comfort of others.

:)

Great thread by the way....I enjoyed reading all of them :)