Dislike towards the patient whom I know outside work

[ClumsyOne]

I soon will be starting a job in dialysis. Yay!

In the same facility my former dentist goes to. I feel really bad about this person. He really messed up my teeth and was very unprofessional and neglectful towards me. He has no ethics or conscience. I don't wanna go in too many details here. And I don't even know how I will interact with that person again and as their nurse especially. I will be as professional as I should just like with all the other patients. but being friendly or having a small talk with this person seems like will be way too hard for me to do.

What do you do in a situation when you have such a strong dislike for a patient whom you know outside work and have personal reasons to dislike?

[Wuzzie]

I agree with Trauma. You need to work in another clinic. Dialysis is not the place to deal with a patient you feel that intensely about. You won't be able to hide your feelings and there is no way you can provide objective care for him. He is not going anywhere. So you need to.

Her objectivity aside (and I totally agree with you) I still think the bigger risk is if this person is as malignant as she says he could cause her some very serious trouble no matter how excellent the care she provides. I think her license and livelihood would be at risk.

[ClumsyOne, ADN, BSN, RN]

I agree with Trauma. You need to work in another clinic. Dialysis is not the place to deal with a patient you feel that intensely about. You won't be able to hide your feelings and there is no way you can provide objective care for him. He is not going anywhere. So you need to.

I am just starting in nursing, and have no previous experience, it is not like I have employers lined up waiting to hire me. If I had other choice than work there I would take it. As far as I know there are at least two nurses in the morning and at night usually, and about 4 during the day. Some come in at 5 am and leave at 6 pm, and other two come in at 9 am and leave at 10 pm or something like that.

I am not worried of not being able to provide objective care. I am very conscientious person and always try hard at performing my job ( no matter what the job is).

I worry about the human connection/communication aspect, I don't think I'd be able to be friendly and even look this person in the eyes. I am still deeply appalled by the way he treated me as a professional and as a human being. And I don't think he'd be happy to see me either so I don't know how he will act in that situation, so I am concerned about that sort of thing.

[ClumsyOne, ADN, BSN, RN]

Thanks, many years ago.. but beyond ouch... tears streaming down my face and pain no one should have to endure. I would love the chance to get even. I'm the one with the instruments now.

Probably better that you step away. Revenge requires a special kind of Chutzpah.

It's not about revenge. (not like I'm gonna have access to his teeth anyway (Tooth for tooth, right?) jk)

I will provide proper care if I am assigned to care for him. I take my job real seriously and as a new nurse will be extra careful, no matter who the patient is.

But with this patient I know I won't be able to be friendly or encouraging and things like that.

[ClumsyOne, ADN, BSN, RN]

You've got some good advice from the other posters, ClumsyOne, but consider this:

The best way to learn to do something is by trying it- getting both of your feet wet. As a wise man once said, "We learn to deal with stress through having stress".

We are professionals who get paid for proving a service . We do not get paid for our personal beliefs or feelings. We need to strive to always put principles above personalities.

Many, many nurses have provided quality care to patients with whom elicited an array of emotions. Just because a patient has a history of being a bad person does not disqualify them from receiving quality care from an objectively minded professional.

If we sell out on one patient for our personal feelings, we might as well pick and choose who we believe deserves or does not deserve care.

While we're at it we might as well give up our integrity. Then, everything else will be a piece of cake.

The very best to you.

Thank you! You are right, I am trying to look at it this way too, as an experience I will learn from.

I wouldn't compromise patient care because of my personal feelings. I just know that I will be pretty cold towards him providing all the necessary care. (Or avoid him when I can if there's another nurse around). And i am not a cold person, so he'll see the difference if he notices the way I communicate with others. I am pretty sure he is not happy with me too and after reading the comments (knowing what he is capable of), I worry he'd try to harm me in some way, like constantly complaining or smth, idk. (getting paranoid here a lil)

[JBudd, MSN]

Going back to the excellent advice you've been given..... give your supervisor a heads up NOW. For all you know, he may not even be there by the time you've finished orientation, but they deserve to know. As said, be very professional and pitch it from a defensive point of view, not that you won't care for him but that he may not want you around, and that you don't feel safe.

In the ER, there is a person that I will not be in contact with professionally, because of a situation that connects us outside of the hospital. I do not want to know anything about her health problems, etc. I just let the charge know if she is there, and I go to a different zone. Has only happened 2 or 3 times. Gotta love living in a small town!