Zarinah, hang in there! If I can do it, you can do it. Let me explain.
Last March, I interviewed for my nursing program. About an hour after I interviewed I was excited and pumped up with adrenaline. I took a pregnancy test just to make sure that everything was fine and to prove to myself that my life was back on track. After all, I was on my way to nursing school (at 31)! Nothing could stop me.
Well, nothing stopped me, but something did slow me down. I learned I was pregnant with my third child. There was no way my husband was going to let me back out of this one. I decided that I would proceed with the nursing program anyway.
The letter came informing me that I was accepted into the accelerated nursing program. This is a 13 month program for those who already have bachelor's degrees that now wish to get a BSN. I accepted.
The first semester was not bad, relatively speaking. On two occasions I almost passed out at clinicals. I got winded easier than the others and ate more, but overall it was okay. My life consisted of caring for my daughters/being a wife/attending prenatal appts./studying. I was on autopilot. I even had the TV disconnected so I would devote all free time to studying.
The second semester, now that was a different story. I'll be honest. Those were the hardest four months of my LIFE! And to top it all off, my baby was due on Halloween, a month and two week before the semester ended. I was taking 18 credit hours and doing several 12 hour clinicals a week. I swelled up so much because I was always on my feet. My legs looked like tree trunks! My daughter and husband had to shove my shoes on my feet while I sat there and cried from the pain plus the prospect of facing another 12 hour day at the hospital. As bad as that was, though, I wanted to keep the baby in there as long as possible to finish as many assignments as I could before the baby was born. This way, I would have less to do later. In addition, my husband only got two weeks off from his job, and even with the upcoming Thanksgiving break, I still had three weeks left to cover (to find someone I trusted to care for my baby) and finals to study for and take. I remember giving myself permission to finally "let go" after my last patho/pharm test (almost a week after my due date passed) and relax. That night, after I received my grade, my water broke.
A clinical group of my peers happened to be at clinicals at the hospital when I was in labor. About 13 of them stopped by to say hi. That cheered me up a lot! I turned in a 40 page paper to my instructor at that time. (I just needed to be done with it!) On Nov. 07, 2007, my 9 lb., 4 oz., 22 inch baby boy was born. It is hard to believe I lugged him around clinicals with me! Interestingly enough, another girl had her fourth son five days before me. If we could do it, you can too.
I am now in my last full semester. It is still busy (trying to cram two years of curriculum into about one year), but it is a breeze compared to last semester. As I type this, I look down at my beautiful sleeping son in my lap in his light blue "sweet pea" gown and I would not change a thing. Really. I am proud of what I have done. We lost four people out of our program so far, and I (knock on wood) am here to stay. If all goes well, in about six months, I will be a second career Registered Nurse).
You can do it. Believe in yourself.