Client/Patient/Resident Guidelines

[betts]

1. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR NURSE TO SHARE YOUR DISCOMFORT.

Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause her/him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.

2. BE CHEERFUL AT ALL TIMES.

Your NURSE leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he/she can get.

3. TRY TO SUFFER FROM THE DISEASE FOR WHICH YOU ARE BEING TREATED.

Remember that your NURSE has a professional reputation to uphold.

4. DO NOT COMPLAIN IF THE TREATMENT FAILS TO BRING RELIEF.

You must believe that your NURSE has achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent disability you may have experienced.

5. NEVER ASK YOUR NURSE TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE/SHE IS DOING OR WHY HE/SHE IS DOING IT.

It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be explained in terms that you would understand.

6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT READILY.

Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting research paper will surely be of widespread interest.

7. PAY YOUR MEDICAL BILLS PROMPTLY AND WILLINGLY.

You should consider it a privilege to contribute, however modestly, to the well-being of NURSES and other humanitarians.

8. DO NOT SUFFER FROM AILMENTS THAT YOU CANNOT AFFORD.

It is sheer arrogance to contract illnesses that are beyond your

means.

9. NEVER REVEAL ANY OF THE SHORTCOMINGS THAT HAVE COME TO LIGHT IN THE COURSE OF TREATMENT BY YOUR NURSE.

The patient-NURSE relationship is a privileged one, and you have a sacred duty to protect her/him from exposure.

10. NEVER DIE WHILE IN YOUR NURSE'S PRESENCE OR UNDER HER/ HIS DIRECT CARE.

This will only cause her/him needless inconvenience and embarrassment.

[kids]

could you please....

replace the word Nurse with Doctor...

[betts]

This was meant to be taken as written; Humorous,lightly...