Anyone ever get off "the" List?! - Page 3

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  1. Oct 24, '08 by
    Quote from Valerie Salva
    I felt from reading this post, the poster had not been a nurse for very long.
    When I looked beneath the poster's name- sure enough- one year of experience.

    I have seen many wonderful nurses and CNAs treated badly over the years. I think this most often happens with staff who are not assertive enough- not the ones who are aggressive or abrasive.

    I have seen that most times, it's the caring, diligent, hard-working nurse who is pooped on by mgmt and co-workers.

    Contrary to the general perception, I don't think that nursing "eats" its' young- it eats the good ones.
    I don't really know how to take this comment, but nevertheless I stand by my statement that no matter how many years of experience you have, you can only change your own behavior. With my miniscule amount of experience I have also seen nurses who complain about management with every turn, are constantly rocking the boat and complaining about things that don't really matter much, and those who you couldn't please if you hung them with a new rope. I don't know the OP from adam, and maybe they are the nicest person on the planet, maybe they are TOO nice and are a doormat and should change that behavior. I wasn't trying to be rude or offensive, just trying to give a solution to look into your own self if the same situation continues to arise over and over. However, the slam at my experience was extremely offensive to me, and I do not appreciate it.
    Tweety likes this.
  2. Oct 24, '08 by
    Quote from PiPhi2004
    I don't really know how to take this comment, but nevertheless I stand by my statement that no matter how many years of experience you have, you can only change your own behavior. With my miniscule amount of experience I have also seen nurses who complain about management with every turn, are constantly rocking the boat and complaining about things that don't really matter much, and those who you couldn't please if you hung them with a new rope. I don't know the OP from adam, and maybe they are the nicest person on the planet, maybe they are TOO nice and are a doormat and should change that behavior. I wasn't trying to be rude or offensive, just trying to give a solution to look into your own self if the same situation continues to arise over and over. However, the slam at my experience was extremely offensive to me, and I do not appreciate it.
    Very appropriate way to respond to someone whom you feel offended you. Thanks for sticking to the Terms of Service.

    Actually this is what the op is asking "how can I change my behavior to stay off 'the list'" Since the op, and us all, are well aware that management is going to be the one to change.
    Valerie Salva likes this.
  3. Oct 24, '08 by
    I think the key is to stay off the bad-list in the first place. Once you are on the bad-list, it's hard to break the stereotype or prejudice that someone has against you.

    That reminds me of my parents. Everytime I went home, even though I was a competant adult who now picked up my own laundry, cleaned my own room, had kids, etc, they still reverted back to treating me like I was 17.
    Valerie Salva and medsurgrnco like this.
  4. Oct 24, '08 by
    Quote from jlsRN
    I think the key is to stay off the bad-list in the first place. Once you are on the bad-list, it's hard to break the stereotype or prejudice that someone has against you.

    That reminds me of my parents. Everytime I went home, even though I was a competant adult who now picked up my own laundry, cleaned my own room, had kids, etc, they still reverted back to treating me like I was 17.
    do parents ever stop doing that?
  5. Oct 24, '08 by
    Quote from smanion
    do parents ever stop doing that?
    Yes, when they shed their earthly bodies and ascend into Heaven...
    medsurgrnco and Valerie Salva like this.
  6. Oct 24, '08 by
    Quote from Tweety
    Actually this is what the op is asking "how can I change my behavior to stay off 'the list'" Since the op, and us all, are well aware that management is going to be the one to change.
    I think Tweety gets what I mean - that management has to change their view of a staff member that got on "the list". As the OP, what I am asking is if anyone has ever been able to get off the list once they were wrongfully put on that list. And if they have, how they managed to get off that list and stay off that list.
  7. Oct 25, '08 by
    Quote from medsurgrnco
    I think Tweety gets what I mean - that management has to change their view of a staff member that got on "the list". As the OP, what I am asking is if anyone has ever been able to get off the list once they were wrongfully put on that list. And if they have, how they managed to get off that list and stay off that list.
    Also, what some of us are saying is that you do have to do some self-analysis. "Why am I am this list? Is there something I can do differently to get myself off the list." Because you have more control over yourself than the manager.

    If you're on the list for no good reason other than your manager is a witch, then there probably isn't anything you can do.

    If the answer is "she thinks I'm disorganized and slow" then you have to take a look at how you do things to find out if it's justified.

    Face to face confrontation works very well also. A good book I've read is "Crucial Confrontations". It can be Googled. I got on my manager's bad side many years ago when she berated me in front of my coworkers for a couple of errors she thought I'd made. I then went behind her back to report her, and then she came back at me with another mistake she dug up. I was definitely on "the list". I really thought I was going to have to quit, but for some reason I just hung in there, working hard, trying to stay under the radar. I would have saved myself a some grief if I'd only confronted her face to face rather than go behind her back. Sometimes you have to do that, but direct face to face working out of a problem is best. As the years passed, she wound up promoting me to charge nurse, being very good to me in my evals and raises, scheduling etc. and we became close working collegues. I recently got a new manager, as she moved on, and I really miss her. If you'd told me 16 years ago we could have turned the situation around I wouldn't have beleived it. My presumption is that we would continue to catfight until I quit or got fired.
    medsurgrnco likes this.