A Father's Tears - page 3

I received his mother, AA, to a room on our floor shortly after midnight one night. She had presented to ER at 15+ weeks gestation with ruptured membranes and intermittent vaginal bleeding; the OB... Read More

  1. by   jnc0713
    thank you soo much for that story. I know from my previous losses of a child that a father does need to greive but in their own special way. Fathers feel the need to be strong for the mothers but who is there to help the greiving father???? We all need to step back and remember that fathers are effected just as much as the mothers. Beautiful story!!
  2. by   Doughertyz
    That was such a profound and moving story.

    Thank you
  3. by   ShariDCST
    years and years ago i lost a baby. the baby's father was not allowed near me to comfort me or for me to comfort him or for us to grieve together. we lost each other in the process. i have carried this pain with me for over 30 years, and have recently become reacquainted with the man i lost and we have finally had the chance to grieve our respective losses and offer comfort to each other. the depth and extent of his grief, and the fact that he carried it with him for so very long, stunned and saddened me and we took much comfort in communicating our feelings to each other.
    all this time - i thought i was the only one who felt this loss so deeply. reading this gave me insight into what he might have been going through so long ago, and i could visualize him in this man's place, and i cried fresh tears for the three of us, and for this family and their loss, which i feel so keenly.
    i had spent several years of my career working in labor and delivery, purposely, to help women bring their precious children into the world and hopefully create happy families. i cry a little inside each time i hear that first cry, but know that i am doing all i can to make it better for someone else.
  4. by   tammyl1013
    What an inspiring story. I lost a son 23 years ago and this posting made me feel like it was yesterday. Josh was born with Trisomy 18 and died when he was 7 days old. Father's are so often forgotten. My husband was affected profoundly by his birth and death yet most attention was towards myself. We would have loved to have had you as our nurse.
  5. by   Biol20fan
    What a touching, beautful, heartbreaking post. I truly am at a loss for words.
  6. by   dylansmama
    very sad, but thank you very much for sharing
  7. by   kaye35
    Thank you for sharing this very touching story,it helps to reminds us to consider everyone in their grieving process.
  8. by   suanna
    Thank you so much for pointing out that two people are involved in the process of making and/or loosing a baby. As a guy I am always dumbfounded by the lack of awareness people show for the father's feelings when a baby is lost pre -term. The cry for child support of shared responsibility has always been prefaced with " it takes two to make a baby you know" but I have never heard someone express support or sympathy to any father of a miscarried baby. It always seems "they" make a baby but only "she" looses it. Thank you for recognizing the fathers' feelings and allowing him to grieve. I do not want to diminish the profound loss any woman must feel when the life she felt inside her is lost- it must be devastating, but dad does have a relationship with this tiny child as well and I so pleased to see a nurse that saw it.
  9. by   tg27
    This is a very well written article -- I am in tears!
  10. by   ysth83
    I cried the most with the last part of your story.
  11. by   ElvishDNP
    Am just now getting around to replying here - thank you all so much for your responses. I still think about this family, and this baby every day.
  12. by   jittybug
    Dear Elvish,
    So truly fascinating story , it moves me , so much , i can imagine to the point of feeling his anguish , of losing a tiny innocent soul . I was crying when i was typing these message to you . GOD BLESS HIM AND THE BEATIFUL TINY ANGEL BOY!!!
  13. by   puppielove
    thank God for nurses like you. When I was 17 I had a premature birth my baby was 14weeks early. The nurses were great about letting my family and myself hold him after he died. This was very important We didn't get to hold him when he was alive,they took pictures,footprints and gave me a lock of his hair. granted one never gets over the lost of losing a child but,it's been 25yrs now and I still look at those picture ,footprints and his lock of hair. if it had't been for the nurses i wouldn't have those precious items.