New Grad Nurse needs advice please!

[ugadawg1696]

I graduated this past December with a MSN. I went through an accelerated nursing program to get my Masters degree in Nursing in 16 months (all I had previously was a Bachelor of Social Work). After having an incredible amount of info crammed into my head in 16 months I finally graduated. The last 4 months of nursing school I spent doing my practicum (400 hours in the ED). My preceptor during my practicum was not a very happy person in general, and was a terrible preceptor and not a very good overall example. I am a very nice person, too nice 99.9% of the time, and let her walk all over me. After my practicum ended, I was expecting to get a job at the hospital I had done my 400 hours of practicum at, but that didn't happen.

My dream has always been to work in the ED. I spent 5 months looking for a job. I applied to over 150 positions at numerous hospitals within a 100 mile radius of me (which was crazy but I became desperate), and applied to every RN job that I qualified for. The first 8 interviews I had I was turned down. I am a somewhat anxious person when I get around people I don't know, so I think I blew the first 8 interviews because I got nervous. The 9th interview was at a small hospital over an hour away from me (an ER mid shift position). I wound up getting the job, which I thought at the time was a blessing because I was desperate for a pay check at this point in time.

I am 2 weeks into the job (not counting the first week I did hospital orientation) and am already sick of the drive (116 miles a day), the hospital is not in the best part of town, and everybody I talk to asks me why the hell I'm not working at either of the 2 large hospitals less than 15 min from my house. I feel like I am a slow learner, and usually the orientation for a new grad in this hospital is 6 months, but the manager told me that since I am fresh out of school and clinicals and was in such a great nursing program that she thinks I will only need 2 months of orientation. Even my preceptor said that was too short, and she recommends at least 3 months of orientation. I have a problem of being too nice and letting people walk all over me, and I am afraid if they ask me to cut my orientation down that I will just agree to do so. I know I just need to grow some balls and stand up for myself, but if anyone has any advice on how to do this I would appreciate it more than you know.

Surprisingly, through all of my clinical rotations, I have never seen a code blue (cardiac/respiratory arrest) situation until yesterday. An old lady who ran head on into a tree was brought in and they were doing CPR on her. I wound up doing CPR on her for awhile, but we couldn't revive her. Her thumb had been cut off in the accident and was in a bag, I was asked to bandage up the piece of bone sticking out of her hand to make her presentable to her family. It was so sad and so hard to do. Her husband was driving home and saw her car wrapped around a tree, someone on the scene of the accident told him she was OK, so when he came to the hospital we had to break the news to him that we were doing CPR on her. He watched us try to revive her for 30 minutes, it was so heart breaking. I feel like I am going to be constantly worrying about my family and friends after seeing stuff like this. But hopefully it will be something I get used to, if that is even possible.

If anyone has any advice please share with me. It would be much appreciated. I am very stressed out right now and worried that I have taken on a job that is too much for me to handle. But maybe most new grads in the ER feel this way?

[Patti_RN]

Nursing is a scary job, no doubt about it. You have a lot of stress: your long commute, the shock of being 'on your own' without a preceptor, and the tragedy you just witnessed... all this on top of feeling rejected and worried about finding your first job. If you read other posts by new nurses many of them just as frightened and overwhelmed. It's easy for older nurses to forget their first job and their first year; don't let others discourage you.

Someone else suggested condensing your work week into three 12 hour shifts and staying at a hotel for the two nights between. This is a great idea and if it's possible it would dramatically cut down the time you spend behind the wheel. Can you move closer to this hospital? Anything you do to cut the commute would help tremendously.

People that deal with sadness, death, and difficult situations learn not to be so raw and emotional over time. It's not that you want to have a heart of stone, you just don't want to experience everyone else's grief and sadness. You'll find a balance in time; yes, those moments will still be sad, but you'll also find enormous comfort in who you were able to help. I remember the positive experiences more vividly than the painful ones. In time, you will, too.

Your background as a social worker is a wonderful advantage--not that you will still be responsible for patients in the same way, but you'll have a perspective that others don't. It doesn't matter what educational or career or life experiences a person has, it adds a dimension to their new job that others may not have (others have their own advantages based on their own unique life experiences). It might be hard to appreciate your BSW right now, but it will enrich your experience as a nurse.

One of the best things a new employee can do is find a mentor. Some hospitals have formal programs, others have informal mentorship programs. Even if yours doesn't you can 'latch onto' someone you trust and have a rapport with. It doesn't have to be a nurse, it can be an ED doc. But, try to find someone who is willing to take you under their wing and talk to you.

Don't be disheartened and don't be discouraged. Yes, it's really overwhelming at first, but trust me it gets better. Best of luck; you can do this!

[canchaser, BSN, RN]

Hang in there. You have to keep this job, with a MSN you are "Overqualified" for the job of bedside nursing and I've seen some managers overlook a MSN cause "They don't want to be hiring their replacement". Speak up for yourself about needing more orientation. Protect your license, just because you graduated from Rush doesn't give them recourse to shorten your orientation. Also, I'm sure if you start asking if any others are driving from your direction you might find someone to carpool with. I drive 88 miles round trip. I was telling one girl my dilemma of having to quit due to gas / mileage, thankfully I was talking to a girl who had a sis in law that I could ride with.