Need some encouragement..

[healer27]

Hi everyone,

I'm a new "baby" nurse graduated may, took boards in July started about 2 weeks ago in an "internship" program. The past 2 weeks have been a little rough and I'm already feeling frustrated. The 2nd week my preceptor told me she thought I wasn't as far along as I should be and reported this to the education department, which made me feel about 2 inches tall. I thought this was very unfair CONSIDERING I've only been on the floor in the nursing role 2 weeks (a mixture of orientation training and floor time ~3 days with her.) In any case in my mind I thought that was ridiculous decided not to let it get to me and move on.

I worked the beg of this past week to and I just again an continuing to feel depressed and frustrated. The one day I took 2 of my own pts. Problem was when I needed help with things I wasn't 100% confident with I would have a hard time finding my preceptor as she was off busy with her pts. To her credit it is a buussy flloorr. At the end of the shift in a rushed state she finally reviewed my charting (I had some areas I wanted a second set of eyes to review but I was feeling a little uncertain I had charted things correctly.) We quickly reviewed and I went home. Of course after the fact I was thinking about things and I realized I forgot to go over with her one section that I'm not sure I did correctly and I've been worried about it ever since. IT just makes me mad YES it is my fault I Forgot to point it out to her; BUT I just feel like she's rushing soo much that I'm not getting some of the time I need to make sure things are done correctly. On one hand I am glad to have my own pts but I feel I STILL do need some guidance at this point.

On top of this I always wonder "what" the other people on the floor think of me - do they think oh their is the slow?? intern who can't keep up. I really like the floor itself; it's an area of nursing I'm very interested in but I feel after this my chances of ending up there because of what she has said our slim. At work I always try to be positive and to not let it show my feelings but I need to vent here. I'm just feeling so negative about everything, like she doesn't like me the floor doesn't like me.. I know I need to keep pushing on and hope for the best but I Just feel so beat up. Any encouraging thoughts would be appreciated.

[CYMBALS]

Hi Healer,

Your preceptor sounds like she could be a twin sister of my preceptor. I actually just started on my own, but before that I ALWAYS felt like my preceptor hated me. She would get annoyed with my questions and ignore me when I needed her help because she was too busy flirting with the cute male charge nurse or talking to friends on the phone. Then at other times she would say (in an annoyed tone) "Have you done this yet? Have you done that yet." I put enough pressure on myself, but her pressure at times was just too much. I have worried often (and still worry) that everyone on the floor thinks I'm the stupid slow nurse. It's very stressful, and probably not very constructive.

You're smart to keep a positive attitude in front of your co-workers (I tried to do the same myself). People will warm up to you, give them time. I always remind myself that in 6 months I will feel differently, and if I don't, then there are other options. Keep you're chin up. You worked hard to get here, and you've been successful so far. This too will come in time.

[healer27]

Hi Cymbals,

Yeah, I think your right. This week was a little better. Now that I've been with her another couple days I think the issue is that she/we have 5/6 pts and if not that then she is charge nurse with pts and if not that she is always helping others. Which is very nice BUT it makes it difficult for me to "catch" up to her with my questions during the day. I DO see that the other nurse ARE warming up to me. At least two of them have said if you need anything you can ask me as well etc.. And in the mornings most say hello to me now which is really nice so at least I think I've WON some people over by just keeping a "smile" on my face even though at times I've wanted to run crying or screaming off the floor. I try to tell myself that the best thing I can do is keep positive and KEEP CALM. Nothing is helped when you work yourself up in a tizzy I've found which is so easy to do. Yesterday the head of the internship program came to meet with me to ask how things were going and to tell me that it would be good if I could try to get to 3 pts. in the next 2 weeks. YIKES -- I handled 2 no problem yesterday; so I might get brave and take 3 on friday we'll see.

Well, hang in there thanks for the encouragement - hope things are getting better for you.

[all4schwa]

i just started my second of three rotations in my internship. the first rotation was 7a-3p on oncology. i thought my preceptor would be workable and it ended up getting worse by the day. when i had two days left, i ended up calling my educator and telling her (truthfully), that since this was such a big hospital and i have so many varied interests, i would love to be able to get in somewhere to shadow the last two days before my next rotation. she got me into the icu (which was fantastic) for twelve hrs the next day and told me i could then just take friday sat and sun off and start my new rotation (ortho) on monday night 7p-7a (a better shift for me). worked out great for me!

:monkeydance:

i started ortho monday night and it was great. my preceptor is great, and i think i'm going to like this floor a lot!

take the three pts, you'll be fine...

[all4schwa]

even if you have to fake it, remain confident. funny how faking it soon turns into feeling it!!

[suzy253, RN]

I'm in new grad as well. Had 6 weeks of hospital orientation and then another 4 on the floor I'm working on. I chose this floor b/c when I was a student there I met this wonderful nurse who taught me so much. Was able to precept with him and he is the best of all preceptors. I have been with other nurses on his day's off and let me tell you....some ppl should NOT be allowed to precept. Immediately Bill let me run the show on the mod b/c he felt confident in me but you better believe he was watching my every move. He's a wonderful instructor...having the perfect preceptor means a lot!

Now I'm on my 3-11 shift and 1st time there I was on my own. I was shaking in my boots (or sneakers as the case may be). Different shift, different ppl, personalities, etc. I feel so down right now. I don't know why...can't quite pinpoint the feeling other than sheer terror??? I'm worried about what happens if something goes wrong with one of my patients (I have usually 5-6) but keep telling myself and others reassuring me that you are never alone. I've very very hard on myself...always have been and can be my own worst enemy. I'm learning stuff every single day...just waiting for the confidence to set in.

Keep in touch!