Meltdown at work

Nurses New Nurse

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Specializes in Certified Wound Care Nurse.

Hey all,

I work 7 am - 7 pm and had a meltdown. Just need to vent and thanks.

Well, it happened... Here I am, post menopausal and seem to have traded PMS for waterworks when stressed, happy or sad.

Yesterday was a good day - I went into work - inherited a section from the night nurse (agency) to find that much of the work was left undone - consent forms for procedures not filled out, pre-procedure checklists undone... That was handled - and I got my work done on time...

Shortly after that was arranged - there was a pt reassignment - I gave away one pt and got one... No prob... did additional assessment, charted, caught pt up on his meds, etc.

The day proceeded normally as possible on this floor. By 3 pm shift change and another reassignment, in addition, we didn't have a charge nurse, so we would need to check our own charts for the remainder of the shift. I was losing 2 pts and inheriting two - plus an empty room... and a patient that was just admitted at the 3 pm shift change.

I quickly saw the new pt, checked up on my other pts, and, fortunately, had another nurse doing the admission on the new pt. By this time, I had to do my accuchecks and begin the evening med pass.

By this time it was nearly 5 pm. The unit secretary walked down the hall and said, "Shawna, you have a report calling holding for a new patient for room XYZ." The patient assignments had changed so much that I didn't even realize I had an empty room! I told her this and took report.

The patient was brought up - he'd had SR on the monitor but that had converted to controlled A-Fib - a new situation. Pt couldn't tell me if this was new for him or not (he was a poor historian). In addition, because there was no charge nurse - and also - the US has not been helpful on several different occasions (as well as to several other nurses on the floor) - I decided I would be proactive and that I would begin to get the new patient's orders underway - specifically a call for a cardiac consult, to inform the doctor of the patient's room number, the change in heart rhythm and to tell the doctor a little about this patient.

I paged the doctor - he didn't call back immediately - so I passed some of my meds to my patients while keeping an ear out for the physician's call back. I didn't get paged overhead about the doctor's return call, so I assumed he hadn't called back. I paged again, waited, no return call while I was at the nurses station - so I passed meds to two more pts. By this time it was 6 pm. The doc finally called back and immediately started berating me - evidently he'd been paged four times and had called back twice and no one had picked up his calls (there were no pages overhead, nor was I notified when I was at the nurses station when I specifically asked if the cardiologist had called back). I apologized and told him that there was a new patient on the floor and that there was a consult ordered for this patient. I told him the consult was for chest pain and pancreatitis and also to inform him that there was a change in the pt's rhythm (I also notified the pt's primary care physician - she told me to call the cardiologist on the case). He continued yelling at me, saying that I needed to provide more information about the patient and to have that info when I called (I had the triage notes from the ER). I told him what meds the pt was on and wanted him to know the condition of the patient at this point.

I finished my meds at 6:30 pm... sort of. The pt that had arrived at 3 pm had not received her meds. Her mars were not available and, in fact, her chart was nowhere to be found when I looked for it at approx 4:30 (and then again 5:30) when it was time to pass meds. Her meds had come up prior to her mars being transcribed and I didn't get her orders, nor did I even get a report on this particular pt - which is why I wanted her chart...

I went into report feeling overwhelmed - thinking that I'd dropped the ball on the 3 pm pt and that I'd yet to do the Hx and initial assessment on the other new pt with the irregular heart rhythm. I'd received a very weak report from the previous night shift nurse and had little info to report to the oncoming nurse. She started asking questions and all I could think was, "This is nuts. I keep getting admissions at shift change, am not getting help from the ppl at the nurses station, am getting b#&$ at by physicians - and all the while, I just want to take care of my patients and help them get better." My throat closed up and my eyes filled. I couldn't stop it. I started crying in the middle report. I walked out of the room and took some deep breaths and came back in. I made it through another pt's report - the third was one of the new pts. I started crying again and couldn't stop. Finally, I wrote out my report for a night nurse that was going to be late. I was done with my charting and was leaving for the evening.

My former preceptor stopped me and told me that I take things "too personally" and need to be "more bold". My manager has told me the same thing - that I need to "stand up" for myself - to the point of getting in other co-worker's faces... I refuse to do that. It's unprofessional... and why oh why should I even have to? If I spend 30% of my waking hours at work, why should I have to defend myself against my own "team"? In my estimation, attacks come from the "outside" and defense should be against the "opposition" - not within ranks - if so, the divided house is sure to fall... It is like being in a dysfunctional environment - and it is - doing the same thing over and over again hoping it will change.

Two weeks ago I had a US attack me in front of a pt's family - saying that she was having to do my work for me - taking care of pt's and doing the job I should have been doing. I did defend myself and she berated me at the nurses station in front of co workers and pt's family members. I wrote my letter of resignation that night and began looking for employment elsewhere (no offers yet). I've been carrying it with me...

Last night - although not normally a hugely stressful end of shift - was simply - the straw that broke the camel's back. The continued example of no help at the front desk, being ignored and ridiculed (by CNAs as well) all merged together last night into a ball of what I considered to be an impossible situation... it was everything - and in that moment I realized I'd been hanging on - doing the same thing over and over, hoping it would change. I cried during report because it finally hit home - that there was nothing I could do to effect good change where I am (was) and that to continue to stay was, very simply, unhealthy for me. I told two of my nurse friends that I plan on leaving.

I'll be resigning Monday. I have heard that there are better places to work and I intend on working elsewhere to determine if it is the nursing profession as a whole that is like this - or if it is this particular floor or hospital.

Right now, I wish I had a mentor. I don't know enough and I want to know more - and know how to do this job well.

Take care,

Shawna

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I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences! Although I'm new to nursing (just graduated in May), I can tell you that not all hospitals operate that way. You shouldn't be treated that way by co-workers.

Have confidence in yourself and hold your head high.

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Oh, honey, hang in there.

I've been bullied on a unit, too. It's horrible.

Just remember: It is NOT you.

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Specializes in Certified Wound Care Nurse.

Suesquatch...

LOL! I love it! 10 kinds of people, binary... LOL LOL!

>

Take care,

Shawna

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Suesquatch...

LOL! I love it! 10 kinds of people, binary... LOL LOL!

>

Take care,

Shawna

Shawna, hang in for a couple of years and you can do what I did - I found an informatics spot! I miss my patients, but not the rest of it.

Keep your head high and your mouth shut.

:)

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Specializes in behavioral health.

You sound like a great nurse =) I bet that you will flourish in another environment. There was no crappy hospital politics 101 and nurse abuse psych 102 in school.

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Specializes in LTC, MDS, Education.

:flowersfoRiverNurse, You are upset because : you haven't yet developed confidence in your skills AND you feel like you don't have any control over what is going on on the unit. When you break into tears, they are tears of anger and frustration. ZOLOFT will help you. Get on it NOW. you will be surprised how it will "smooth out your emotions" . Let us know how you are. Sending good thoughts your way......

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I felt the same way when I worked for a whole 4 months in a burn icu unit, and then 3 weeks on a trauma/surgical floor. I love nursing, but I hate the way it is understaffed and we are overworked! I cant do the floor/hospital nursing. I have tried home health too...and know what? It is like the hospital except you are in your car! Insanity! I went home EVERY morning when I worked at the Burn unit and cried and cried and cried. I dont know what the answer is for me. Hang in there! You are not alone! Sounds like you were trying to hold it together. I had so many dismissals and admits one day like that on the trauma floor. That is when I quit...couldnt take it!:nurse:

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Specializes in Labor & Delivery.

WOW! I've stated repeatedly in different posts that until I found this website I thought I was the only one struggling with being a nurse! And again...I'll say that I'm soooo glad to know that i'm not the only one. It had gotten to the point that I thought maybe I wasn't supposed to be a nurse. I had even thought about getting a non-nursing job. :sniff: Which would be terrible after working so hard to get through nursing school. I thought that being an "older" new nurse the transition would be easier....not so! I think in some ways it makes it harder. At 35 I feel comfortable in almost every situation as far as being a spouse and parent, being assertive, feeling comfortable in my own skin...until I walk into work. All self confidence goes out the window! I had a charge nurse one time that was 23 and still lived at home with her mom and dad. When I asked her to help balance my overwhelming pt load one shift, she told me "we all have to do things we don't want to" and refused to speak to me for the rest of the shift! It was like working with my teenage daughter! :banghead:

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Specializes in Certified Wound Care Nurse.

Um, Bedpan... I already take an anti-depressant AND do several Yoga sessions during the week. The above has worked wonders, except in work... so - now what? I've decided to change my situation. It's not a good fit. I am planning on going back to school and furthering my education.

Shawna

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Specializes in CCRN-CSC.

Here's something kinda similar or not. But I totally know where you're coming from re: feeling frustrated with coworkers etc. So at the hospital I'm at, we have 4 pts, no nurses aides and it's a mixed m/s tele floor. My acuity was maxed out and I was taking an admission. While doing all the admission teaching and orienting, one of my pts was up to some mischeif. I had asked for some help while I was stuck in my room doing the admission etc. As soon as i finished i'd come out for a "fellow RN" to say, "I saw your pt on the side of the bed and i didn't know what you wanted me to do but apparently she seems safe and is ok." So i began to feel a bit upset. Cause that isn't a safe situation right? Well at least for me. So i quickly jolted for the room, and low and behold... I'm just glad the patient was ok, but pretty bummed and frustrated to how one can feel like an island... I just don't get how people don't commit to teamwork. "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine!" Right?

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Gosh....I dont know, but I havent worked at a place as an RN yet that is all about teamwork. I know I am the kind of nurse that would. That is one of the reasons I became a nurse...to HELP. I think places need to change how they orient RN's. I mean, our outcome is to provide SAFE and EFFECTIVE care...not run us through an orientation so fast that our head spins just so that unit will have another BODY to fill the position. I actually had a manager say that to me once...wow.

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