So the other day I experienced my first code blue as a nurse! I had just got an admit, my other patient came up from dialysis and I swear 3 of my 6 pts were calling me at the same time.
Let me back up. That am I was getting report. Pt was afib on a cardizem drip and while getting report the charge nurse was in there because his sats were low, she told me to finish report and she would take care of him so I did and then after report went back to see him because I knew he would need frequent attention...long story short I went to hang my fluids a little after breakfast he was sleeping so I didn't wake him while I hung my fluids and about 40 minutes later they were calling a code!!!
I was in a patient's room, heard yelling then heard code blue on my floor! I tell the patient I am with I'll be back, go outside and everyone is standing a my patient's room. I go in give report on what I know, called the doctor. My adrenaline was crazy because I couldn't remember the patient's name all I could remember was what he was there for.
It was organized chaos! I was so upset. I couldn't figure out how I was talking to the patient a couple of hours before and it got here. I did have the opportunity to do compressions even being scared, my glasses falling off, and standing on my toes because I'm too short. I feel like I did ok during the code, but I am internalizing it and making it about me which I know I shouldn't do.
Afterwards my charge said I did well, I looked calm, and that there was nothing I could have done. But I can't help but think about this patient and his family! I have not been to work since. And I had just got to the point that I felt I was making progress as a nurse.
I want to know how people deal with this? This is the reason I won't do ICU. I feel like I just took 10 steps backwards. I thought I had made progress as a nurse but now I feel like a complete failure.