Anyone else having a hard time?

Nurses New Nurse

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I am having a hard time finding my niche. I have worked at a couple of different hospitals since my grad in May and can't seem to find where I fit in. Anyone else dealing w/ this???

The first hospital I was at plain out lied to me on a number of things, had BIG safety issues and was just a bad hospital all over, of course I find this out right when I started orientation...so I move on to hospital number 2...which I really liked, at first.

Now I am begining to wonder if it just me, am I not cut out for the stress of nursing or if it is just a bad fit or I am not giving it enough of a chance...UGH so confused and frustrated!!!!!!

For example new hospital, oriented for a couple of weeks on days, in Labor and Delivery, my first choice of units, and then to nights due to family issues, well on days I was doing my own deliveries, everybody was so supportive and gave a ton of positive reinforsement. Now on nights I have been told I am too slow, um I can get an admit done in about 15 minutes, I am not organized enough, well I haven't been doing it that long... And to top it all off, every body, not just my preceptor is always coming in my room, changing things, doing half of what I am supposed to be doing and leaving me in a state of feeling like 'Am I that bad everybody has to run in and do most of my stuff' they don't even give me the chance, and this isn't even an emergency situation!!! I have talked with my manager several times, saying that the best way for me to learn is to do it myself, I appreciate the help, and most of the girls are nice to work with, but I am never going to get "fast" or get my own rhythm if everybody just keeps on doing it!!!!! Last night was it, I had enough, I told her that either they let me start doing somethings on my own, like I was doing on days or I can't work here, I am so increadibly frustrated. There is one nurse who just can't stop making comments about my "slow nursing" and I have been told that I should spend soo much time "engrossed w/ my patient" Well guess what My philosophy is to come to work and care for the patients not all of the damn paperwork, and if I don't get a break because I am catching up on charting well thats on me, I don't blame anyone. I am still new, but I am doing about as much as I did in nursing school, not to much becuase anytime something comes up they all come in, do it, not even bothering to explain anything, so I feel like they think that I am not capable of doing much more than hanging an IV and charting....UGH

I am to the point where either I would rather work in a different unit or quit nursing altogether, because I am seeing more and more that it seems not to be about patients anymore!!!!!

First, you've only graduate in May. There hasn't been that much time to get adjusted.

Second, if you're having problems with staff members, go directly to them, and explain what you're doing and why.

On our IMC, the past couple of weeks, every day a different nurse told me how to fill out the flow sheet--each a different way. I finally sat them all down with the educators and asked them to please come up with a definitive answer since I won't be changing this again. The educators and the NM got together, reviewed their policies and preferences, and now we all do it the same way. Everybody is happy because we can now read each other's flow sheets more easily.

I also had a problem with a nurse trying to get me to do his scut work for him. I told him, when I have time, I'd love to help, BUT I had a lot of my own, and I'm newer, therefore a bit slower. Since then, he's always there offering me a hand.

Also, our educators were constantly pulling us from the middle of a task to do what they wanted us to do. We-the other interns-asked them to allow us to at least finish what we were doing so we wouldn't forget and fall behind. Unless of course, it was something that really required something to be done NOW.

I don't know if it's because we work with some great people for the most part, or our little group is particularly assertive, but nobody is hovering, but they're there when we need them.

Don't take it to personal and try not to let them get to you. You will pick up speed. I suspect they want you to carry part of their workload. Here's the flip side. I started working 8 months ago. After 2 months I was off orientation. I was looked upon as "a good nurse" "fast learner" ect, ect,... So what that got me was being given more admissions than the other experienced nurses, being made charge nurse at 4 months of employment and being given high acuity patients that nobody else wanted. Well of course I am burned out and am starting my new job in LTC next week.

Take your time. I wish I would have held back and gone slower. Alos, how is your staffing? If your hospital is understaffed they will expect too much from you and too early of a time. No shame in not hurrying to make mistakes-some which might cost the patient big time. Hope things get better for you. Best of luck.

Thanks guys!!!!!

Just knowing that I am not the only one to go through this and that it is ok not to be fast as lightning is reassuring! Last night was a little better, my manager was my preceptor, she acknowledged that I do have the theory behind this and that I am capable of the skills. I had a really good night actually. I told her that I like a good challenge, it makes me think and put my theory into action. I appreciated that she was not on top of me every two seconds and didn't even come in when I was doing things as she has seen me do these before with competance. This to me is reassuring, so maby if everyone would treat me like I have some sort of clue, then it would be better and I will get my confidence back. I really love nursing but all this has kinda left me with a bad taste in my mouth regarding the future of nursing as a profession. I love bedside care, connecting with a patient, helping them deal with their situation. That is what it is all about for me.

So thanks guys, and Rapheal, thanks, I know I shouldn't take it personal; on one hand it is business, not personal, but on the other hand nursing comes from both my heart and my mind, so sometimes it is hard to separate the two...

Specializes in ER, PACU.

I understand what you mean. I am working in the ER, got a half assed orientation (I was also put with people at the spur of the moment when I arrived on the unit), but the last 3 weeks I was with one preceptor at night and she was great. I just finished my 2nd night off of orientation, and I am exhasted! I am trying my hardest to do the best I can, but I am falling behind most of the time and I cant seem to keep up. I think all new nurses hear the comments about being slow, but then again what is the alternative? To rush through it and make a mistake? I just ignore those comments. Its OUR license and to make a careless mistake just to impress our coworkers? Not going to happen. Good luck and hang in there!

Thanks imagin!!!!

You make a good point about not wanting to risk the license we worked SO HARD for! True, very true.

I guess it comes down to personalities, differences and blah, blah, blah...you know what I mean.

Glad to hear that the rest of your orientation was good. Hope it all pays off in the end, the agrivation and frustration.

Must admit I am a little jealous, I LOVED my ER rotation, would have gotten into it but it was a little intimidating, and I was already comfortable w/ OB. What level is your ER? I one day FAR, FAR down the road wouldn't mine learning some ER nursing...after I master OB of course and could drag myself away as I do love it.

Specializes in ER, PACU.

Thanks for replying! I am in a level II ER, but we are so busy you would never know it. I did my internship at a level I and it was so much more organized than this place was. We could have 9 patients there and you felt like you were able to get a grip on it, whereas here you have 9 and you dont even get to see the patients for a while! If I had nowhere to compare this place to than I would think that this was like everywhere, but I know better. I am so depressed about this. I met an ER nurse today who works at a hospital out here, and he says this is normal and was talking like "oh well than I guess you shouldnt do ER" (he is the only one that I have heard that says this), and his hospital is a level I that does not have a trauma team so you have to take trauma patients on top of your regular load! Im sorry but I have never heard of a trauma center that does not have a trauma team! I am able to get to my patients, and I know what has to be done for them, its not like I am incompetent, but its just a matter of getting caught up. And I know that they are assigning me patients back to back without assigning them to other nurses and are taking advantage of me that way. I just hope and pray every shift that I make it through.

Specializes in Behavioral Health.

Hi there,

Don't get frustrated...there needs to be more nurses like you. I am only 3 months into my job in the ICU and I'm looking for something in L&D. I feel like a heel if I quit after only 3 months (the average orientation is 5 months), but I don't think the ICU is for me...and my facility has already tried to take me off of orientation "just for today because we don't want to pay agency". What a bunch of BS.

Good luck!!!

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