I've always been like this. Anything new just freaks me out and makes me nervous, and makes me do worse than I probably would if I just had a bit of confidence in myself.
I have a new preceptor this week, and gave me feedback about my performance, and told me I need more confidence,
I'm not surprised. It's a problem that I have in everything that I do. I basically need someone to hold my hand and build up my confidence until I actually start getting somewhere. But once I gain some confidence, my performance quality increases dramatically. It's been this way with all the past jobs I've done.
The problem is that since I'm in ICU, I'm so so much more nervous! And I get flustered when I make stupid mistakes, like forgetting to bring a syringe when I need to do an IV push, and then realizing I didn't bring saline flushes. Ah! It makes me feel like an idiot.
And then my preceptor told me to not show my lack of confidence to my patients, but so far all my patients have loved me. The hospital keeps telling me to manage myself up so that patients aren't anxious, but I've just always been honest my patients and tell them that I'm new and that another nurse is with me to supervise me, and my patients are always happy.
How confident should I be by now? I see other orientees on the floor once in awhile, and they just seem so calm and together, and I feel like I'm a mess. =/
This is my 4th week, btw.