Help! Transfer schools for family emergency?

prowlingMA · Jan 21, 2007

I was in a program and had to move states for my husband work. The new state did not accept any transfers for the program, so I would have to start all over again. But may be different for you state. My suggestion would be get a NA job at a LTC, that;s what I did and if you wantto go for RN do it sooner that later. I waited and have since done an MA program and totally loved it. ONly 9 months of school, not as good pay but a stead job with 9-5 hours.

Trauma Columnist · Jan 21, 2007

Melissa - I would see what schools are available in your home state and see if they accept transfer students. Another option (not a good one I admit) is to live apart while you finish up and then get a job in your home state. It would be a shame to have to re-do these courses. Good luck.

AdonaiLoveable · Jan 22, 2007

From your post, it sounds as though your husband moved (at least in part) because he couldn't find work near your program. Could you take out more loans so that the two of you could get by until he does find work in your area? Maybe taking out the loans could relieve some financial stress so that you two could work on the other things that are putting stress on your relationship.

I hope your marriage can withstand this pressure, and perhaps even become stronger by enduring this process. No degree/career is more important to me than my husband and our marriage, but I totally believe its possible to maintain both is you two can work together and get you through the program.

Best regards and best wishes.

Adonai

MelissaRN.FutureCRNA · Jan 22, 2007

Thank you all so much for your input. I really appreciate your words of advice.

Trauma Columnist · Jan 22, 2007

Melissa - I wanted to add that my husband was in the Air Force for 23 years, we've been together 29 years and have been separated up to a year at a time (no visits, only sporadic phone calls - he was in Greenland and there are NO phone lines and this was before computers). I love my husband very, very much and we have raised two kids also. When we are facing separations, we discuss it in great detail as to who is going to do what and how we are going to maintain some degree of closeness. I will say that it is not easy - our sons were 8 weeks old and 5 years old when he left for Greenland, we both lost parents during that year, you get the idea.... Anyway, we did separate while I went to school too. We were stationed in Las Vegas and he got orders to Indianapolis. I had worked hard to get into nursing school and it was very rough. We split the kids up and did okay. Again, not great, but doable. Hope this helps Melissa. I do want to add though that I put my marriage at the top of my responsibilities and didn't take these separations lightly at all. We both made a concerted effort to change things but in the end, the separation was the only way. Would I do it again? Yes.

burn out · Jan 23, 2007

It sounds as if he is the one that decided to go back home and didn't take you into consideration. Maybe he needs some time out but you did mention some major stressors at home. Maybe your marriage has some things that may or may not be able to be fixed.. the future here is very uncertain. However, If you can manage to make it what 1 more year at school then both of you can benefit from the rewards. How are you going to feel if you quit school and go back and the marriage does or does not work. If you go back and the marriage fail then it is lose/lose, if the marriage works and you have to give up your dream then it is lose/win (him winning), if you stay in school and the marriage fails then it is win/lose (you win..maybe not everything you want ) if you stay in school and he comes back to you then it is win/win. You pick.