You might be in the medical field if:

Nurses Humor


1. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.

2. Your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.

3. You find humor in other people's stupidity.

4. You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.

5. Your idea of comforting a child is placing him in a papoose restraint.

6. You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a diagnosis.

7. You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

8. You believe unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet around here."

9. You have ever referred to a patient death as a transfer to the Eternal Care Unit.

10. When out in public you compliment a stranger on their great veins.

11. You hate working the night shift on a full moon night.

12. You ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide: Getting it Right the First Time."

13. You have ever had to leave a patient's room before you began laughing uncontrollably.

14. You think caffeine should be available in IV form.

15. You have ever restrained somebody and it was not a sexual experience.

16. Your most commonly uttered phrase after midnight is: "What changed tonight at 2 AM that makes this an emergency after 6 months?"

17. You believe that "Too Stupid to Live" should be a diagnosis.

18. When you mention vegetables, you are not referring to a food group.

19. You have your weekends marked off and planned for a year.

20. You have been exposed to so many x-rays that you don't really have to worry about birth control.

21. You encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA so that you don't have to deal with them.

22. You have ever bet on blood alcohol levels.


17 Posts

Specializes in acute care, supervision, admin.

Sure have commented on quite a few veins I've seen on folks.

Thanks for the funnies!


299 Posts

Hmmmmmm, I have done or thought about everyone of these at some time or another.

Not only do patients go to the Eternal care unit....they take the Jesus bus to get there.

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