Yay!!! Four Years and Surviving

[bluefabian]

Today marks the full four years that I have become a clinical staff nurse. It was four years back that I first stepped into that hospital carrying the title with me. Thinking through and back, I can't believe that I made it this far. Almost quitting for countless times and been on the collapse of burnt out. But I stood up and walked again. Not only it was tough being a male and dealing with self conflict at first, family reception was a bit mild and less encouraging. Many times have I said to myself that I will quit this job and get away with all this nonsense. But I never did.

It's funny why I can't ever leave this profession. I dunno whether it's fate, a calling or a vocation.

I had the chance to leave the bedside/clinical many times before. Job being offered to me even when I didn't apply for it - from former clinical instructors, friends who referred me to a nursing college, lecturer who recommended me to took up a teaching post that will guarantee me a postgraduate study opportunity, people who looked through my online resume and persuaded me to join them. But I dunno why, I turned them all down. I always thought that my place belongs with the patient, of which I need to polish and enhance my skills much more. Even after all this time, the more that I knew, the more that I know I don't know!!!

Today, a former hospital matron called me personally to offer a job position. Guaranteed with a salary upheaval, prospect for post basic study and a whole lot more. I was overwhelmed and undecided. But looks like I will be turning down that offer as well. Right after the conversation with her, I called another hospital whom I had applied for and got the news that I got the job. In a new hospital, in a foreign land, with unfamiliar setting and a whole lot of challenges. Why did I take it? Learning opportunity and experience. Always favor that over anything else.

Sometimes, as much as this life as a nurse is draining the soul out of me, it is also the one that gave me the meaning of life.

Sorry people, just have to share this joy