Writing an admissions letter - Input?

[augurey]

So I withdrew from my nursing program because of accreditation and some red flags that popped up starting second semester.

I'm applying to a school that I had my heart set on a year ago (never applied because I thought I'd never stand a chance at getting in). It has better accreditation and they're affiliated with a hospital I want to get into (clinicals are there, you can get into the school and access their computers 24/7, their lab is so much nicer, and getting a job at the hospital is highly likely after graduation/passing the boards, etc).

An admissions letter is not required; however, when your past academics is less stellar such as mine, they suggest an admission letter explaining situations from the past, what you're goals are, etc.

1. I started college in 2003 but withdrew spring 2004 because of severe mental heath issues (these have been resolved for several years, and I'm better with coping and handling stress, etc., so this is no longer an issue). I'm not sure how to best explain this. I'm guessing mental health is not the best choice of words in the letter, so I'm leaning towards personal issues or medical issues. I'm worried that if I say medical issues that it may raise questions on how I would handle medical issues should they come up now. Personal issues almost seems too vague and a cop out. Which would you advise?

I also started back up at a community college fall 2006 and withdrew spring 2007 as I couldn't juggle working full time and going to school (which I plan to put as well as that I've left my job so that I can commit 100% to the program).

2. I still have to send in my transcript from my most recent school, which is actually good because even though I didn't do so well 7 - 12 years ago (I did just fine in high school. I just completely fell apart when I attended college), I was doing awesome at this other school. I don't know if they'll factor in the GPA from this school since they aren't regionally accredited (only ACICS; I didn't understand the different accreditations when I was looking into programs. This is my biggest reason for switching), but even if they don't, it'll show where I'm currently at, academically (maybe). Plus if I do great in my pre-reqs (which I am so far), that'll help as well (and that GPA will definitely be factored in). But even though they can see those things on paper, what about explaining my accomplishments at the last school that they can't see? Like the A&P ATI, I scored in the 99th percentile, the highest that school has seen in the entirety of their nursing program, or being only 1 of 5 out of 22 students to pass the nutrition ATI (if I do mention the nutrition ATI, should I word it differently instead of saying 1 of 5 out of 22?)?

I can't say I had many accomplishments, other than my grades. I did receive praise from the director of nursing for my grades as well as my instructor who also complimented me on my A&P ATI. He even said that I was one of the few (two others) who he thought would go far and really excel. He hoped that I would continue my education beyond an ADN as he thought I could really go places. I'm not sure if these things should be included, and if so, how to word it the best way possible. Unfortunately this is about all I have from recent education to sell myself.

I just know that I need to sell myself and show them that I'm not the same person I was during the times I attended college and that I'm academically, emotionally, and mentally capable.

3. When I'm talking about my goals, I'm not sure what to put without sounding plain, ordinary, or without direction. All I really know is that I want to become a nurse. I know which hospital I have my heart set on (the one they're affiliated with). I also have a general idea of areas I'd like to get into, but I won't get my heart set on them until I get through school because I know my schooling experience can completely change my opinion on where I want to end up. So how do I do this without sounding like everyone else (in a situation of writing an admissions letter) or sounding like I don't know what I want?

The admissions rep that I've been speaking with for months now said she's seen people get through with writing admission letters, some not, but it just greatly depends on how bad my past is and how well I'm doing now (and how well I write my letter). I don't feel confident that I'll get in, but I think if I can write a great admissions letter, I think I have a shot at least. She's been very helpful and has made it sound like I have a shot. Obviously she can't tell me it'll get me in, but she doesn't think my past sounds so bad that I'd be shot down without some consideration. I've been open with her about my past schooling and my most recent school.

She's seen people get in where they've done horrible in high school (which GPA is calculated unless you already have a degree), but have done well in the pre-reqs and have been able to get in (so I'm hoping that proving myself now will hold more weight, but I just don't know how much ACICS accreditation will hold with them).

Can anyone advise? Or have any other suggestions to make this letter perfect? How personal or detailed do I get? Should I keep it to a certain length? I know I can get long winded, such as this post, so I'm just wondering what would be appropriate.