Would u please read and crique my Navy Nurse Corp motivational statement?

[morshed]

An inherent trait in human nature is to strive for greatness, and do something to be proud of in life. Choosing nursing as a career and the motivation for seeking a commission in the U.S. Navy Nurse Corps is rooted on that same innate characteristic. My father used to tell me, "life can be so shallow and unrewarding if you are living each day with no plan for the future and little thought toward helping others." This may seem like an obvious statement, but the passion, courage, and challenge I grow as a nurse are enrooted on this. I was born in a poor society, in southern part of Africa, in where most people couldn't even imagine going to college.

Growing up near a naval base, observing the men and women who stand for the country inspired me to face the challenge with patience and resilience. My leadership experience, dedication to duty, and ability to adapt to any situation, the intangible qualities that I possess helped me in the past and will help in future despite of my sociological status and economic situation that I was placed by birth.

Being an immigrant, getting into nursing school, and graduating from college has been an upstream struggle, however, thanks to our government I was still able to receive an education despite my lack of resources and academic preparation. I feel that by joining the Navy Nurse Corps I will have an opportunity to return some of what I have been blessed with by serving as a nurse for those who work so hard so for our country.

Nonetheless, I must confess that there is also part of me that wants to travel more and see more of the U.S and other parts of the world. I like adventure, seeing new places, meeting new people, facing challenge and learning new skills. I believe that as a Navy nurse I will be able to do all of these things.

I am confident that my personal and professional experiences, organization and management skills will prove to be an asset to the Naval Nurse Corp Program. Additionally, I believe that my work ethic, charisma and leadership skills will enhance the productivity of my organization and those who may serve under me. I sincerely desire a commission in the United States Naval Reserve. It would be my proudest moment.

[Evan Gross, BSN, EMT-B]

I think this is great. It covers different areas and then comes together at the end. It is humbling reading a story like this. Good luck with your future endeavors.

[Sw88tpea, BSN]

Excellent! You hit all the great points. This statement is exemplary of the Naval core values of honor, courage, and commitment. You sound like a great fit for Navy. I wish you best of luck. Thank you for making the decision to serve. We appreciate you. Hope to see you in the Navy!