Would highly appreciate a feedback of my FNP personal statement

[NikkynurseRN]

Hello everyone!

I just wrote a personal statement for FNP school and would highly appreciate it if anyone would give me feedback on it. Like things i need to include, change, grammar e.t.c. They require only two pages.

The question asked was "What are your professional goals and how will enrollment in the master of science n nursing program relate to them?"

Thank you!

I am applying for admission to the MSN program, Family nurse practitioner concentration because I desire a career which provides advanced nursing care to individuals and to the community at large. My Bachelor of Science degree in nursing provided the foundation for which a master degree will build and strengthen on. I am certain that ------------ University will provide me with invaluable resources to achieve this stated goal. Theses resources include “Theoretical, experimental and research knowledge” among others, as was described by the University’s program competencies. Being an International student from Nigeria, I would also bring a different perspective, experience and diversity to the College, as well as to the University as a whole

Healthcare has always been my first choice in careers and going into nursing has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. The opportunity to study in the USA is a one in a life time opportunity that was given to me, and I am extremely appreciative. As a token of my appreciation, I have volunteered in many programs that reach out to the American community.

Nursing school was challenging as well as exciting. It provided me with an education program responsive to the changing needs of students and the health care environment. In the clinical setting, I was able to use learnt knowledge to provide patient care, advocacy, education, teaching and comfort. It was an opportunity for self discovery, learning and growth

The journey from nursing student to health care provider has been very rewarding. I hold my BSN from --------and I presently work at a skilled nursing and rehabilitation center. Working in this facility has exposed me to a vast array of residents with different personalities and backgrounds but one thing the residents have in common is that they are all at their most vulnerable states. They have physical and mental disabilities and require patience, understanding, care, and comfort.

I have come to realize that the most appealing part of my job is the fact that being a nurse provides me with the unique ability to not only “do a job”, but also the opportunity to be a human being. To have a heart, to be empathetic, to make someone feel better at the end of the day, than they did in the beginning.

]My main reason for pursuing a career as a Nurse practitioner is because I desire to encounter new and even more challenging experiences that will help me with my continued growth and development. I also desire at some point to move back to my home country Nigeria. My home country is in dire need of adequately trained medical professionals. The country is underdeveloped and hospitals are understaffed. Health care is not a right but a privilege and we lack some basic infrastructures that are pertinent to health care, health insurance is non existent. So many lives can and will be saved if only a few more professionals like myself can be trained in a reputable University such as--------. I believe that I will have so much to give to my country when I eventually return after receiving extensive training and experience in the health care field.

By earning my graduate education from-----University, I will be able play a critical role in life-saving procedures. I will also have the opportunity to be a teacher and to share my knowledge with people who might not have had the opportunity to study in a reputable institution in a developed country.

I hope to be a pioneer, a person who brings about changes. I have a vision to see health care bloom in an underdeveloped country and I hope that -----University will help bring this to reality.

After received my advance practice degree from this institution, I will have been provided with resources that will be valuable to me for the rest of my life.

[sasha1224]

i am applying for admission to the msn program, family nurse practitioner concentration because i desire a career which provides advanced nursing care to individuals and to the community at large. my bachelor of science degree in nursing provided the foundation for which a master degree will build and strengthen on. i am certain that ------------ university will provide me with invaluable resources to achieve this stated goal. these resources include “theoretical, experimental and research knowledge” among others, as was described by the university’s program competencies. being an international student from nigeria, i would also bring a different perspective, experience and diversity to the college, as well as to the university as a whole.

healthcare has always been my first choice in careers and going into nursing has been one of the best decisions i have ever made. the opportunity to study in the usa is a once in a life time opportunity that was given to me, and i am extremely appreciative. as a token of my appreciation, i have volunteered in many programs that reach out to the american community.

nursing school was challenging as well as exciting. it provided me with an education program responsive to the changing needs of students and the health care environment. in the clinical setting, i was able to use learned knowledge to provide patient care, advocacy, education, teaching and comfort. it was an opportunity for self discovery, learning and growth.

the journey from nursing student to health care provider has been very rewarding. i hold my bsn from --------and i presently work at a skilled nursing and rehabilitation center. working in this facility has exposed me to a vast array of residents with different personalities and backgrounds but one thing the residents have in common is that they are all at their most vulnerable states. they have physical and mental disabilities and require patience, understanding, care, and comfort.

i have come to realize that the most appealing part of my job is the fact that being a nurse provides me with the unique ability to not only “do a job”, but also the opportunity to be a human being. to have a heart, to be empathetic, to make someone feel better at the end of the day, than they did in the beginning.

]removemy main reason for pursuing a career as a nurse practitioner (capitalize) is because i desire to encounter new and even more challenging experiences that will help me with my continued growth and development. i also desire at some point to move back to my home country nigeria. my home country is in dire need of adequately trained medical professionals. the country is underdeveloped and hospitals are understaffed. health care is not a right but a privilege and we (maybe use home country, "we" might turn some off) lack some basic infrastructures that are pertinent to health care, h (either semi-colon or end sentence and start new one with healthealth insurance is non existent. so many lives can and will be saved if only a few more professionals like myself can be trained in a reputable university such as--------. i believe that i will have so much to give to my(maybe add home here)country when i eventually return after receiving extensive training and experience in the health care field.

by earning my graduate education from-----university, i will be able play a critical role in life-saving procedures. i will also have the opportunity to be a teacher and to share my knowledge with people who might not have had the opportunity to study in a reputable institution in a developed country.

i hope to be a pioneer, a person who brings about changes(remove s). i have a vision to see health care bloom in an underdeveloped country and i hope that -----university will help bring thismaybe add vision here to reality.

after received my advance practice degree from this institution, i will have been provided with resources that will be valuable to me for the rest of my life.

maybe add a conclusion such as "thank you for your consideration and i look forward to the opportunities your program provides."

the changes i suggested are in red.

this is well written, i hope it works out for you! good luck!

[NikkynurseRN]

thank you so much