Working Makes Me Feel Mental

[missjennmb]

I've been working for 9 months. I love, philosophically, what I do. Until recently, I would have said that my mission in life, my calling, was to be in this office, doing exactly what I am doing. But I HATE office politics, the tension between my boss and her boss, the feeling of being the "red headed step child" of the company (my office and everyone in it...we have 6 offices). I feel burnt out from being tugged this way and that, painfully bored--we have an immense amount of down time, and like I should be ecstatic to have this job, but I hate going to work every day. There was a time when, if I were to write my perfect job, it would be doing what I am doing now. But it feels like the goal of my work is so covered up by the beuracratic crap that I cant remember why I liked it so much in the first place. Everything I do is wrong (not because I'm new, but because the rules change a LOT and conflicting information is given), people say "come to me if you have a question" and then they forward my questions to my boss and I get in trouble for not following chain of command. Then I follow chain of command, and get a lecture about how I did it wrong and the person who showed me did it wrong.

At this point I'm debating between finding another job (which would be less fulfilling most likely on a functional level but less stressful on a beurocratic level), staying and hoping things will change until I completely burn out and quit without a back up plan, or getting on psych meds so I dont care anymore (along with 95% of my patients).

Sometimes I come home and I'm a total basketcase. Its not the patients either, its never ever the patients. They are my saving grace, and I know that the likelihood of my finding another job with this same population is slim to none, which is the only thing that holds me here. Consequently, if i were to take a night/weekend job, I would only have to work 2 shifts a week compared to the 5 I work now, which is also a factor. (I have kids and my daycare cost runs $1k a month atm)

Any words of wisdom?

[LoveThisNurse]

Oh politics, it's at every job =o) Just some places have it more worse than others. Definetly take a good look at your situation. I thought about quitting my job 2 months ago and since being on my own financially, I couldn't leave as easily as I wanted. Try no to make your decision purely on emotions. Thank God I didn't. It's hard to want to get out of something while you're still in it. Try looking at your situation differently. Try a new perspective. Look at other jobs, apply, interview and see what's out there. Hope that helps a little =o)