I have a question on working with other nurses who are either older or younger. I am what you may call somewhat green in nursing and I do very much love what I do because it keeps me on my toes with research, and best practice guides and application in the clinical sense. I am predominately introverted, and I will work with others as this is the mainstay of nursing. I find I cannot express the same ammount of energy as some nurses can, I am just not a high energy nurse , and am very far from flamboyant. One younger and higher experienced nurse that I work with is in my opinion very sharp, and very good at her job where I work. We do communicate, and work together at times. I do find she can rub me the wrong way and as a nurse we are not supposed to be too expressive. I had a client who was in distress and while I was handling the situation this nurse decided to run over and take over with her usual high energy and to me was a shocking confusion inducing sensation. There are many paths to take actions for certain clients and I would never state this nurse wound not get results, and in a way I admire and also am somewhat irritated with them. I have to bit my lip hard to not say anything and I did in the end let her do her thing and pass care on to her. I also work with some very old and very crusty nurses and I should not say this but I also admire and have small things about them that can bother me as well, but I feel I get along with them better. This is fundamentally incorrect and not professional thinking. I am required to perform the best care that I can and prioritize my clients needs, and must strategize and adapt to working with others. Why is it that I struggle so with this younger nurse then I do with the older crusty nurses? Against my better judgement I made a complaint with HR when I should have just spent a day or so reflecting. The though of reporting her to the the collage came to mind as well, but that seems like overkill, and the client did recover. This is not the first time this nurse has done this to me what should I do outside of conflict resolution.

You're experiencing discomfort and tension when working with certain colleagues, particularly the younger, high-energy nurse. Your feelings are understandable, especially given your introverted nature and desire for a calm, clear process when handling patient care. Here's a breakdown of why these feelings might be happening and how you can address them professionally and constructively: Why You Might Struggle More with the Younger Nurse Energy & communication styles. You mentioned that this nurse is high-energy and tends to take over in stressful situations. This abrupt energy can be jarring for someone who is more introverted and prefers a steady, methodical approach. It can feel like the pace, communication, and control are being disrupted when you're already managing the situation in a way that works for you. Your discomfort might stem from boundary issues and her taking over on your patient. Different levels of experience. Despite her higher energy, this younger nurse may have a different approach rooted in her confidence and expertise. She might feel like she's helping, but her way of stepping in could be interpreted as undermining, not collaborative. Personal expectations. You might feel some tension because of the difference in experience and age. Even though you both have your strengths, you might expect a more collaborative approach rather than one that feels like a takeover. With older nurses, you may relate more to their steadier, more traditional approach and find it easier to work together because there is less perceived competition or difference in pace. Handling the Situation You've already made a complaint to HR, and reflecting on it later, it sounds like you might have been emotionally overwhelmed at that moment. But beyond that, let's look at some other ways you can handle it moving forward, especially if it happens again: Take a step back and reflect. When you are frustrated, taking a moment to breathe and reflect is important. Reflection can help you understand why her behavior bothers you. Is it the pace, the lack of communication, or the feeling that your professional space infringes upon you? Once you pinpoint the cause of your discomfort, you can address it more directly and professionally. Open, calm communication. You need to have a quiet conversation with her outside of a high-stress moment or to debrief the incident. You don't have to be confrontational, but sharing how you feel can help you understand each other better. For example: "I really value the work you do, but it can be a bit overwhelming for me when you take over in the middle of a situation. I know we both want to provide the best care for the patient, but I'd appreciate it if we could discuss how we approach things together.” This would set a tone of mutual respect and collaboration without escalating the situation. If she is open to it, it could help create better teamwork. Setting boundaries. Sometimes, setting boundaries doesn't have to be an official confrontation. It can be as simple as letting her know calmly and confidently when you need to take the lead. For example: "I've got this from here, but I'll let you know if I need help.” This will ensure that you maintain control over the situation without feeling undermined. It will also signal to her that you are capable and assertive. Focus on patient care. Getting caught up in personal dynamics is easy, but the focus must be on patient care. Maintaining patient well-being and putting energy into your professional duties helps reduce the emotional load. At the end of the day, your interactions with her (or any nurse) should ideally center around the common goal of providing the best care to patients. Learn from it. Every challenging experience is a chance for growth. While it's natural to feel frustrated, consider what you can learn from this nurse's style and how you might incorporate it into your practice. Perhaps her high-energy approach works well in certain situations, and you can adapt it more comfortably. Or, you might decide that a calm, structured environment is what you need, and that's okay, too. Seek mentorship or coaching. If this situation bothers you, discussing it with a mentor or supervisor who can guide how to navigate team dynamics might be helpful. Sometimes, having someone who's been in your shoes can help you gain perspective on the situation. Final Thoughts It's clear that you care deeply about providing the best care to your patients, and you're committed to improving how you work with others, even when there are personality clashes. Being honest with yourself about why certain situations trigger you while focusing on solutions will help you grow professionally. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong in the past (like filing the HR complaint in the heat of the moment), reflect on how you can handle it next time. Every challenge, especially in nursing, is a learning opportunity. You certainly don't have to be overly expressive or flamboyant to be effective as a nurse—your quiet, thoughtful approach is just as valuable as high-energy methods, and it's essential to find a way to balance those differences for the benefit of the team and the patient. Best wishes, Nurse Beth

Why do I struggle more with younger nurses than older crusty nurses?

Dear Nurse Beth Advice Column - The following letter submitted anonymously in search for answers. Join the conversation!

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TAVRN

2 Posts

Feb 15

First of all calling a seasoned nurse is just disrespectful. I traveled to top 10 hospitals and many others for 15 out of my 30 years and learned so much. I have always had the guts to step out of my comfort zone and learn different areas of nursing and roles. I am healthy and take care of myself and always take the stairs while other younger nurses say- never. I am not and will never be crusty or stagnant. Stop stereotyping. I have a problem with nurses like you and millennial nurses. I am afraid to be a patient these days. The care and work ethic of young and new nurses today is horrendous and embarrassing for our profession.

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