i am so miserable right now. i feel i am caught in a terrible position i never intended to land myself in. long story short.... i graduated a year ago and have had an awful time finding a job. i took the only thing i could get. it was not what i wanted or could ever see myself doing, but it was an opportunity. after a couple months of doing it i started to like what i was doing; however, i started noticing things that made me very uncomfortable. the employees that work there are very caddy (all women!). the whisper, have secret meetings....all high school stuff. it annoyed me, but i chose to stay out of it. then i started to notice that many documents were being falsified. it was not small things either. these were things that were hurting the patients. because of the falsification the pts were not getting the care they needed. the company saves tons of money... there are also very grey lines about responsibility and what is expected out of certain roles i am assigned. i am expected to do certain jobs with no instruction and then when i do them i get reprimanded for doing them correctly. the last incident i got in trouble for being thorough and catching dangerous things that was happening with the pt. the company didn't want to hear it. come to find out giving me this certain responsibility was only to have a body in the situation with a rn. i was not to do anything, but just have a presence so it looked good. the last straw for me was that there is a clear disrespect for the patients. this company is not in it for the pts, but for the money. the other nurses have clearly forgotten why they chose to be a nurse. there are about 15 nurses at the place i work and i can't confide in any of them....it just seems to be a pit of disgusting practices and nurses who are not true nurses.
i am a person that has a strong belief in have personal integrity and doing right for my pts. as i write this out i am realizing i should just leave and pray that something else will come around. this journey the last year of being on cloud nine after graduation and then having my hopes and dreams crushed by not finding a job and now this has been a nightmare.
i never once thought after i got my degree that getting a job would be so hard and now that i have one i need to leave. i am getting so depressed and discouraged... i am on the verge of giving up and going back to school to change professions. i never thought i would say that. nursing is a true passion for me, but i just can't take this anymore. the year long battle i have had has just wore me down.
