What would you do? New nurse New baby Lots of anxiety

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I just recently had a baby in October after just graduating in May. My orientation was extended until I went on maternity leave which was only a couple of weeks extra but I am super nervous about going back to work on Monday because I am officially by myself. I feel like everything that I have learned as a student has already left my brain and I just do not feel like I will ever be a "good nurse". I feel like right now I am so task oriented that I "have little time to think", which can make for a very bad situation if I have a really critical patient. Before maternity leave I would cry when it was time to go to work. I know that part of it was the fact that I was pregnant and 12 hour shifts HURT, but I also believe that part of it is the fact that I am having such a hard time on this floor.

#1-I knew before I started nursing that I wanted to do maternal-child nursing and despite every effort and applying to every hospital in town I did not get a position in L&D which is where I really want to work. I am not saying that it won't be hard in labor and delivery trust me I know it will. However when I did my externship on a labor and delivery floor I was so eager to learn. I WANTED to learn. On the medical telemetry floor that I am on now I feel like my learning is more forced in order to be safe. My 6 months is coming up soon and I can then transfer but I feel like I should just wait until my year is up to gain more experience. I wanted to maybe talk with the labor and delivery manager at the hospital where I work and see what I can do to get there, but I don't want to burn any bridges with my current manager or make work miserable because I know that I have not voiced that I want to go somewhere else to her at any point. I really don't know what else I can do to get to where I want to be. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

#2- I know some of my weak areas just from starting orientation, but they are classic to new graduates. One of them being time management. I try so hard to stay on task but when you have 3 confused patients and 2 total care patients it can be really hard. I know that one of the issues here is that I try to help the techs because I know that they are busy. I have a lot of trouble with delegation because I don't want to seem like the "B&*$&y needy nurse. I want to have a good relationship with the techs so that I can ask them for help when I need it.I just don't know how to get to that point. Another one of my weaknesses is cardiac dysrhythmias. At the school I went to this was not covered in our required nursing classes. There was a seperate EKG class that was $3,000. Needless to say the first glimpse I had on this was when I started working and that was taught through video and was really an overview. There are no teacher/student classes where I work and I just don't know how I can study this? Any ideas are helpful. Once again I just want to know what I should do when to get better at recognizing dysrhthmias and what interventions are expected for them. One of my other weaknesses is critical thinking. I rarely am able to look at labs and the diagnosis and say "hey I remember that this causes this and that's why this lab is off". In school this was how we were taught so I know that I should be that way now but nothing is coming back and I don't know what to do.

I have to talked to my manager and the coordinator over the orientation program. They both say that this can be a stressful time and everything will come back but I am just not seeing it. My manager says "Your'e doing great" every time I talk to her about it, but I just don't feel it.

After all of this writing all I can really say is that I am a nervous wreck. I have a new baby and really don't want to bring the stress of work home with me or that will cause burnout really quick, so I am so nervous about going back on Monday. On top of that I know that I do not want to be on the floor that I am on for an extended period of time. I REALLY WANT L&D because I hoped to go back to school after gaining experience in maternal-child but when all of the jobs say "experience required" I don't know what I can do to get there. I just need some advice on what I can do to make going to work less stressful. Thanks

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Don't be so hard on yourself. I've been a nurse for three years and there are still MANY situations that I feel the same way you do. Talk to your manager about a tele class and study hard. I still struggle with tele myself. Hopefully you have monitor techs and supportive colleagues to help you with that. Do you have a mentor?? If not you really need to try to find one. Just because you're done orienting doesnt mean you don't need support. Ask your manager who they think would be a good mentor for you and adjust your schedule if needed. As far as the baby.. CONGRATS!!! Being a working mommy is so hard. It will take a while but you will get the hang of juggling it all. Find a sitter that you trust completely otherwise you'll be distracted at work.I think your mgr is right... Sounds like you're doing great!!! The fact that you KNOW what your weaknesses are tells me that. Don't hesitate to ask questions. There are still some days that I feel task oriented. More exp nurses tell me this will pass entirely but I still have some days like that. Just think through the nursing process as you assess each pt and this will guide you. Good luck! BTW... You should prob let your mgr know that your goal is L&D. They might be able to help you get there and you're right you don't want to burn bridges.. Blindsiding your mgr could keep you from going to the unit you want to. Every mgr understands that nurses have goals.

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I have a question, you started working while pregnant, and they didn't mind? That's my dilemma now! I am 5wks abd was told when I return from Maternity leave, I may not have a job :-[ How did you tell your employer, and how long were you gone?

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Yes! I told at my interview when I was around 12 weeks. I was very upfront about it. I had already been to interviews and didn't tell anyone and wasn't getting the jobs.

It is true that because you have not worked for a year your job is not exactly secured. But I asked the manager during the interview how that would work out because it was my biggest fear at the time and she said during my interview that if she thought I was a fit she would work around it.

She did it was unpaid but I still had a job.

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I know in PA an employer can't really say that. We are allowed 12 weeks family leave for any reason and they still have to maintain that job position. Anything longer than that they do not have to. Hope this helps.

http://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/

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http://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/

They have to allow 12 weeks unpaid leave under the family and medical leave act. And maintain your position. After 12 weeks they don't have to. Hope this helps!

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I know in PA an employer can't really say that. We are allowed 12 weeks family leave for any reason and they still have to maintain that job position. Anything longer than that they do not have to. Hope this helps.

http://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/

Thanks! I've seen this, but it has to be within 12 months, in other words, you must be employed for a year before your entitled to this, it's a federal law :-(

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Sorry about the repetitive reply! Silly iPad.

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I didn't even think about it because I was employed for a year before I had my girls at two different jobs. Bummer! Ugh, good luck!

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Its a shame that this a true dilemma!!!! Im thinking with 6-7 months of experience, something will work out

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