What should I have said?

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Specializes in L&D, PACU.

I'm new in L&D, working 12's. That long a shift gives you a lot of time to bond with your patient, and my mom gene has gone into overdrive. I spend a lot of time with my patients, encouraging them, and supporting them.

A day ago I had a pt who really struggled, induced but never progressed, really tried to keep all natural even with pit, so I was doing a lot of comfort measures and coaching. She ended up going for a section about 4 hours after I left that night.

Today I went up to see her and the baby. She was so happy to see me, and her mother kept nudging her and saying something in spanish that I didn't catch. (my spanish is pretty much nonexistant.) She scribbled something on a paper and gave it to me and said, "when I go home you must call me, Mom wants to make a big meal of spanish food for you for being so good to me. She wants your phone number but I told her I would have you call me instead. Call me later, it would make her so happy." It was her phone number.

I was caught unprepared. I didn't have a good line ready and so I did what I do when I'm caught flat footed, I agreed. Now, I don't really think it would be appropriate for me to go to the house of a patient. But I didn't have a good reply ready. In circumstances like that, what should I say? I need a good line to keep ready for next time, if there ever is a next time.

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Specializes in Maternal - Child Health.

Don't feel bad. My mind and my responses are usually about 5 minutes behind the conversation.

Perhaps you could gently remind them of just how busy they will be with the new baby at home, and let them know that your greatest reward would be to have them visit on the unit when mom and baby have had a chance to recover. If they wish to bring food, then everyone in the unit could share in the celebration.

Thanks for taking such good care of your patients!

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Don't feel bad. My mind and my responses are usually about 5 minutes behind the conversation.

Perhaps you could gently remind them of just how busy they will be with the new baby at home, and let them know that your greatest reward would be to have them visit on the unit when mom and baby have had a chance to recover. If they wish to bring food, then everyone in the unit could share in the celebration.

Thanks for taking such good care of your patients!

Great suggestion. Just make sure they don't think you expect a huge feast for all your co-workers.

Kudos to you for taking such good care of your patient.

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As intense as our specialties can be, this happens sometimes. When I began in nursing 27 years ago, I was working on a Level III high-risk antepartum unit, in a time when having a high-risk antepartum patient admitted for weeks or months was not unusual. I cared for one mom who was hospitalized several times and for extended periods, and we developed a bond. After she delivered, and was going home, she asked me to keep in touch, and gave me her number. I left her my work number. I figured that would be the end of it, as it often is. However, a few weeks later, I received a card at work with an invitation to the baby's christening. I figured that was a "public forum" and decided to go. I had to admit some curiosity in seeing how that special baby was growing. :)

I went to that christening, and it was like old-home week. That baby is the older sister of the next baby, for whom I am godmother. I was in the delivery room for the birth of that baby. The "baby" I am godmother to is now 24, and in nursing school, and is the light of my life.

In 27 years, and thousands and thousands of patients, I have only developed an outside friendship with 2 that I can remember, even though many send cards, and I respond to those cards sometimes (and really enjoy them). Most times, people say they will keep in touch, but never do.

This family saw something special in you, enjoy that. Give it time, and see if they contact you again, and then decide if you want to keep contact, maybe in writing or by phone. Lots of NICU nurses will tell you that they have had long-term contact with some families because of the intensity and length of care those babies receive. Use your judgment. You can't keep contact with everyone, but in some cases in your career, you may keep some contact with some. I still have e mail contact with a mom of twins I cared for in home care. Her twins are now print models (they are about 6 now) so she keeps in contact by sending me brief e mails with copies of their photos, and I just love it.

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Specializes in Dialysis, Nephrology & Cosmetic Surgery.

I remember keeping in touch the the wife of one particular patient after he had died. I gave her my home phone number and looking back I now I cannot imagine me doing that again. However a couple of months after this gentleman had died she phoned me and left a message on my answerphone. I called round at her house and while I was there she confided something to me that had troubled her since the night here husband died. I had been with them both at that time and was able to reassure about ther concerns. I was pleased that I had that opportunity and like to think that maybe I helped her move on as she couldn't get certain worrying thoughts out of her mind.

I know yours is a very different situation but I think what I am trying to say - in a very round about way - is if it feels right keep in touch.

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