Vent, I don't even know anymore

[rougewitch]

I don't know how to start this off. I just had an emotional breakdown yesterday and I'm having another one while typing this because I don't know why I'm majoring in nursing other than my mom pressuring me into the field and the money and job security are extremely promising. I'm from California and I'm surrounded by nurses in my family. I guess it's being broke my whole life and trying to find a way to get out of it is what makes nursing so appealing to me. Other than that, I can't find another reason why I should enter this field. I couldn't care less about any of the prerequisites. Not to mention California schools are competitive that people start moving out of the state. The thought of that makes me feel sick.

As for the field itself, human and bodily fluids and blood make me extremely uncomfortable and I don't have the patience to deal with aggressive patients that will find any chance to grope you. And I don't even know what else I want to major in, it's like I'm at a dead end. I guess you can say all I care about is having money and getting out of the shady neighborhood I lived in my entire childhood and being able to afford things I've always wanted. 

I don't know what I'm trying to do with this post other than letting out my feelings. Well, what about you guys? What makes you stay in nursing despite the horrible parts of the field that looks like it outweighs the good parts of it? I try to tell myself that the money and the three days-twelve hour shifts is worth and I should stay, but I don't think that's working anymore, seeing as I just bottle all these feelings I have in me any longer. I'd really appreciate it if anyone can help in some way, whether it's kind words or advice, because believe me, I need it. 
 

[Rebecca-G]

Hey,

I gotta be real.  pursue nursing because it's your heart and not because of money.

nursing is hard.  Nurses are under appreciated.  If you don't enjoy it now what would make you think it will get better?  That's almost like marrying a guy you don't like very much, for security.  It doesn't lead to happiness.

on the flip side, do you have patient care experience?  Because you can overcome disliking body fluids, if you find joy in caring for people

don't be afraid to try something that you're not good at now; because you might just be a rocking nurse... 

if I were you, I'd get a job as a patient care tech.  if you do that, and hate it, maybe nursing isn't for you.  If you find that you can overcome your discomfort; then maybe there's a great nurse hidden in there.  You won't know until you do patient care, and it's better to discover that now; instead of after years of nursing school...

❤️❤️❤️ 

[rougewitch]

Rebecca-G said:

Hey,

I gotta be real.  pursue nursing because it's your heart and not because of money.

nursing is hard.  Nurses are under appreciated.  If you don't enjoy it now what would make you think it will get better?  That's almost like marrying a guy you don't like very much, for security.  It doesn't lead to happiness.

on the flip side, do you have patient care experience?  Because you can overcome disliking body fluids, if you find joy in caring for people

don't be afraid to try something that you're not good at now; because you might just be a rocking nurse... 

if I were you, I'd get a job as a patient care tech.  if you do that, and hate it, maybe nursing isn't for you.  If you find that you can overcome your discomfort; then maybe there's a great nurse hidden in there.  You won't know until you do patient care, and it's better to discover that now; instead of after years of nursing school...

❤️❤️❤️ 

Thank you for that. No, I do not have any patient care experience at all, I haven't done any volunteering, even though you're right that I should because it's the only way to know. I looked it up (I don't have time right now to research it thoroughly) and I saw that it needed training which is a given but eh I don't want to go through months of training when I have classes to focus on. Last fall I didn't have the thought of applying for a job in my mind because statistics took up 90% of my time. I don't even hold a driver's license because no one could ever teach me while I was growing up, everyone is too busy to do it and my mom is trying to save money right now for driving lessons. I know I'm being lazy and I know I need to get over that but I don't know how to find a way out of things that are holding me back. Maybe I'm just being a downer but I'm nearing my second year of college and this is the time where you have to declare a major if not already and stick to it.