Uplifting advice needed

[NeitherLostNorFound]

Please bear with me if this gets lengthy ?

I haven’t spoken to anyone about this, have kept it bottled up out of fear of not articulating it right and coming off as bragging or a “know it all.” 

I’m currently in nursing school. I’ve always wanted to be a nurse but it has been a LONG road getting here, finally put into motion by the nurses who were bedside when one of my favorite little humans passed away from a terminal illness a few years ago. I don’t want to go into too much detail since I’m unsure of who all may come across this.

To say I’m humbled and grateful to be in nursing school, is an understatement. Everything I do is in honor of a life that was cut entirely too short, so I give 1000% every single day. And it’s paying off in a big way academically. In conjunction with a small, part time job I have to gain experience - I feel like I’m finally moving in the right direction, and the nurses I work with are unbelievably supportive and encouraging. 

I can’t really elaborate on what’s going on specifically at school, but it almost feels as if there’s a target on my back for doing so well. I don’t present as a “know it all”, I try to fly under the radar as I felt in the first few weeks I was being too helpful (I have ems experience also and was able to help out in group work when it came to the basics), so I have pulled back. 

I feel I’m disliked by the people in leadership roles at school, to the point I feel I’m skipped over all together during even question-and-answer type discussions. 

I’ve come right out and asked one of my instructors if I’ve done something wrong and was assured not at all, but yet, it still feels that way. I know I’m there to learn, and shouldn’t care what others think, but feeling this dark, passive aggressive energy daily is extremely draining and almost makes me feel like educating me in any sense is the last thing they want to be doing. 

I thought doing my best was what was expected, and I find myself feeling that anything above average is off-putting to the staff. I’m so sorry if this comes off in any way that may seem ill-intended/braggy (that is the last way I want this post to seem), I really just want to make it thru this with my mental health in tact. I took years to work thru therapy, grief, trauma, multiple diagnoses to get here in one piece mentally and physically and I feel very disheartened right now that this is even an issue at my age. 

Any input or advice at all?

[summertx]

On 12/2/2021 at 6:26 AM, NeitherLostNorFound said:

 

Your academic skills are probably appreciated but what kind of school are you at? They probably don't expect if it's LVN, and not a university. I would continue to perform above average, and not participate out of turn to avoid run ins  like that. 

[Quest5, BSN, MSN, RN]

I read and reread your post and I can say with certainty that it is not your experience, intelligence, or knowledge that faculty are responding to, it is your sense of mission and passion (which is not usual in an average nursing student). The nurses at work get it and are supportive but they know you better. It’s likely you’ve not found a faculty member who will understand you and help you channel that passion. Since you are receptive to counseling, may I suggest you contact your school’s counseling service for support? You may want to ask if they know of any faculty who would be a good mentor, someone you could trust with your story.

I would suggest you view the faculty less as targeting/ ignoring you and more as concentrating their efforts on classmates who understand less or are less successful than you. Find a mentor, even if it is a RN or NP at work. With the support of someone understanding who can help guide your interactions and reactions, your concerns about the majority of faculty will fade. 

If there’s no one like that in your program or facility, let me know by replying to this post and we’ll work on making contact. ‘Stay positive, please.