Unsuccessful in first leadership role

klone, MSN, RN · Dec 8, 2020

Hi there. Yes, I do have a similar experience. I have been in a leadership role for 6 years, in 3 different jobs, with progressively more responsibility. I was offered a job at a MUCH larger facility than I have experienced in the past. I was hired by the interim director. A month later, a permanent director was hired - this new director had been at the facility for several years, was the director of a different service line, and was appointed into this new director role. Three months later, after no coaching conversations whatsoever, she came into my office, told me I wasn't a good fit for the role, and that if she had been the director at the time of my interviews, she would not have hired me. So, with that, I packed up my things and left.

I too was going through a lot of personal stuff during this time - moving across country by myself, to Minneapolis during the middle of severe civil unrest due to the George Floyd murder (and I'm literally living a block off Lake St, which is where the majority of the looting, fires, and destruction took place), then dealing with substance use addiction issues in a close family member, a separation from my spouse, and life-changing self-discovery on my part. So yeah, I wasn't exactly 100% present.

I've never failed at anything as a nurse. I'm really good at being a nurse leader, and until this role, I had excelled at it. Being fired for the first time in my life, after a mere 3 1/2 months, has been pretty devastating to me. I decided that I am going to leave leadership, at least for a while. I just got a job at Planned Parenthood as a reproductive health clinic RN.

Part of me is afraid that I'll never get hired again into another leadership role. Another part of me feels like I don't deserve to have another leadership role, and that I'm just a huge failure and suck as a manager.

Anyway, just letting you know you're not alone. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I wish you good luck in your next position.

supra9355 · Dec 10, 2020

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m just as lost right now in my career. My fiancé is starting her nursing journey soon, so maybe this is a good time for me to invest my time in her and our two children. I may go back to do a night shift med/surge contract, then do PRN weekends. I really want to go back to the Er, but there is a lot of extra money in med/surge at my previous facility and it would take some of the financial burdens off of us while we transition. I feel like you and I both will be fine. Their cannot be success without failure. Failure is how we learn, adapt, and then succeed. Well, that’s my outlook at this point.

Orca, ADN, ASN, RN · Dec 11, 2020

Jobs can be a bad fit for a variety of reasons. All of us at one time or another has wound up in a job that made us miserable or that we were not suited for, and it is not necessarily a reflection on us. From the sound of it, you had far too much else going on in your life to take on a job change at the same time (if you moved out of the area where your previous job was located you may not have had a choice, but it sounds like this wasn't the case since you are considering returning).

Learn from the experience and move on.

Early in my career (about four years in), I had an nurse manager who told me that I was not cut out to be a supervisor. This was someone who used to work alongside me, and she saw me as a threat to her authority. She eventually succeeded in running me off by setting me up to fail (giving me all of the problem employees, etc.). I also had a chief of nursing who lost faith in me because of something that happened that was out of my control. I never regained her confidence. Fortunately she moved on, and the supervisors that I have had since then have been much more supportive.

As far as my suitability for leadership positions, I have been in a supervisory or management role for the past 21 years, and I have been a DON for the past 13-plus. I believe that I have done OK. Apparently other people don't share the opinion of that nurse manager that I had early in my career.

I have learned something from every job that I have been in and every supervisor that I have worked for. Not all of it has been positive, but sometimes it is just as valuable to learn how not to manage people and what doesn't work. Some supervisors set bad examples.

Failure isn't permanent. You will find the right spot. Best of luck to you.

speedynurse, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-P · Dec 11, 2020

I think as nurses we are hardest on ourselves. We work hard, do our best, and when we fail at ONE thing, it’s like it’s hard to bounce back. This happened to me at one job.....I had multiple things going on in my life....deaths in my family, severe illness, night shift, a move to another home, etc. At the same time, I entered into a very difficult position at a somewhat toxic job with very strong personalities from multiple staff members. I was exhausted, fried, and just wanted to do my job and go home. Learning experience from this - everyone goes through really hard times in life and no one is exempt from this. Be kind to others because you never know what they are going through in life. Accept that you will fail at least once in a job and possibly even many times, but things can and will get better. That Thomas Edison quote holds a lot of truth about the lightbulbs....which I can’t remember right now LOL. But it applies to this situation as well!