Ugh, awful night

[SoundofMusic]

So, I felt like I've been doing so well lately with about 3 pts or so, keeping up with everything fine -- and then we had this awful night last night.

I had a totally new and different preceptor, wasn't used to her, and she just flew around, taking control in and out of my hands, not staying with me. I had a hard time adjusting to her style and tried to tell her to back off and let me do things. That strategy seemed to backfire, we got hit with some demanding admits, and the night ended in a total paperwork nightmare.

But for some reason, a lot of the blame got pushed on me by my preceptor coordinator. I DID ask this preceptor when I had some questions, especially about a TON of admit orders that needed to be sent, but her answer was that it didn't need to be done. Turns out it DID need to be done and so they sat me down on paperwork all night, yet got on me at the end for not getting into do some important care, on pts.

But how was I to do the care when I was instructed to do something else but sit and finish my paperwork?

I felt like I could not win last night. Today I'm sitting her looking through want ads, but knowing full well that I just can't quit.

But I want to.

Anyone have some encouragement? :zzzzz

My PC says I need to ask for more help. But sometimes I dont' know enough to even ask for it -- How can I gauge when I'm needing help?

[imanedrn]

So, I felt like I've been doing so well lately with about 3 pts or so, keeping up with everything fine -- and then we had this awful night last night.

I had a totally new and different preceptor, wasn't used to her, and she just flew around, taking control in and out of my hands, not staying with me. I had a hard time adjusting to her style and tried to tell her to back off and let me do things. That strategy seemed to backfire, we got hit with some demanding admits, and the night ended in a total paperwork nightmare.

But for some reason, a lot of the blame got pushed on me by my preceptor coordinator. I DID ask this preceptor when I had some questions, especially about a TON of admit orders that needed to be sent, but her answer was that it didn't need to be done. Turns out it DID need to be done and so they sat me down on paperwork all night, yet got on me at the end for not getting into do some important care, on pts.

But how was I to do the care when I was instructed to do something else but sit and finish my paperwork?

I felt like I could not win last night. Today I'm sitting her looking through want ads, but knowing full well that I just can't quit.

But I want to.

Anyone have some encouragement? :zzzzz

My PC says I need to ask for more help. But sometimes I dont' know enough to even ask for it -- How can I gauge when I'm needing help?

Unfortunately, the only encouragement I have is the same I've heard before: It does get better -- believe it or not.

When I confronted my manager about not being shown how to do X task or arrange X procedure or contact X person about X other things, it always seemed to fall back on me. "You need to ask more questions." And, like you, I wonder the same exact thing: How can I ask for help when I don't know I need it?

Last week, I had a patient fall. While I was precepting, my preceptor had TWO patients fall on TWO separate occasions. Not once did she tell me anything needed to be done: notifying the charge nurse, informing the doc, and filling out an incident report. Not once! When this happened to me, though, it was like I was supposed to miraculously know what I was supposed to do. My change nurse said it was "common sense." If it's so common, then why didn't my preceptor teach me how to do it?!

My only encouragement is to hang in there... Keep coming back to these forums and reading what others have to say. Other than venting to my (also new) nurse friends and my husband (who's doing his nursing pre-reqs), this forum keeps me sane.

At one point, when people said there was a light at the end of the tunnel, I would have called them liars. On some days, now, I actually catch a glimpse of that light.

One of our tele techs referred to it as "disorganized chaos" one day. I was so used to hearing things referred to as "organized chaos" that I found this humorous and heart-breaking at the same time. Nursing IS my passion; I truly have no other choice! At the same time, I am anal retentive, and I've never had such a love-hate relationship with something before.

Some preceptors just plain suck. Managers will always stick up for the people who've been there the longest.

Again, just hang in there... and pay attention to how you feel from week to week. I can bet your feelings will change. (I've stopped crying less!) If they don't, then you can look in the paper again.

Good luck! :icon_hug: