Trends in dying process

After 15 or so years in Hospice I think several areas paly a role in someone hanging on. I think first and foremost from what I've seen that someone who has been "bad" for many years ie. abuse, neglect of someone, "sinner" etc are more scared of dying because even though they may not voice it they believe in "hell" and so they fight to hang on. Others that are "at peace" with themselves and know their families will be okay tend to go without such a fight. One of my most memorable patients that I still think about ask me several questions that were harder to answer than most: what will it feel like, I mean actually feel like when I die? Will I know when I am dead? Will I be able to see my body when my soul leaves it? Will I still think like I do now? This young man was only 36 years old but was okay with dying. I guess to answer your question I think each one has to be at some pint with their inner selves to be okay with dying. Andy

i too have experienced many of my pts. fear going to hell.

whether one dies early or at the end of their life, they all do a life's review.

i've had sev'l religious pts who feared dying.

i've had atheists who asked if i believed in a God.

it took me awhile to learn the difference between religion and spirituality.

if someone is religious, it doesn't automatically qualify one as spiritual.

those that are spiritual, often die w/o fear.

yet there are so many variables in the dying process, and so, many different reasons on why one isn't ready to leave.

we attempt to make them as ready as humanly possibly....

I totally agree, I do think a lot of the "newer" Hospice nurses really have not had the opportunity to distinguish between religion and spirituality. In our culture a lot of folks still think these are the same. I still have trouble at times with my staff and even my chaplains understanding the difference and beleiving that everyone has to be "saved" to go to heaven or the other side. I think by me understanding the difference it has made my out look on life so much better. Keep the faith my brother. Andy

i too have experienced many of my pts. fear going to hell.

whether one dies early or at the end of their life, they all do a life's review.

i've had sev'l religious pts who feared dying.

i've had atheists who asked if i believed in a God.

it took me awhile to learn the difference between religion and spirituality.

if someone is religious, it doesn't automatically qualify one as spiritual.

those that are spiritual, often die w/o fear.

yet there are so many variables in the dying process, and so, many different reasons on why one isn't ready to leave.

we attempt to make them as ready as humanly possibly....

It's very interesting. I grew up Catholic and have taken notice (maybe because I am hyper-aware) that many of my Catholic and fundamentalist patients seem to have a bad time nearing death - having anxiety, fear, and agitation.

Yes...

And have you noticed any consistencies in the character or attitude or philosophy of those patients who achieve the ultimate goal of dying serenely and consciously?

It's very interesting. I grew up Catholic and have taken notice (maybe because I am hyper-aware) that many of my Catholic and fundamentalist patients seem to have a bad time nearing death - having anxiety, fear, and agitation.

i agree.

that's why i wrote about separating spirituality from religion.

spirituality is so very comforting.

religion and its' teachings can be very frightening to dying pts.

thankfully we have some stupendous people on staff, to address such anxiety.

leslie

Yes...

And have you noticed any consistencies in the character or attitude or philosophy of those patients who achieve the ultimate goal of dying serenely and consciously?

those who i have observed to die a peaceful death were for the most part, satisfied with their lives-no matter how short; or more specifically, were satisfied with who they were and how they lived. a remarkable sense of self. most believed in an afterlife w/the fear of judgement removed.

however, it really is difficult to note any trends....medications, poorly controlled pain, family, often interfere with any prolonged thoughts of clarity. poverty of thought is frequently noted, again for the same reasons. from my experiences, there is nothing textbook about dying. the process is unique to ea individual.

leslie