took time off from nursing - now its time to go back

[gj59]

I found this site and have been reading the blogs for several months now, I enjoy the fellowship and support that I have witnessed within this blog. I would like to share my experience and hope and would love to hear back from others in recovery.

My license was revoked in 2001 when I made the decision to leave nursing and not remain in the nursing assistance program. I had about 2 weeks left of my 3 year stint in the nursing assitance program, but my relapse shook me to the core - I wanted sobriety and serenity more than I wanted to stay in nursing, and felt that I could not have both until I did some serious step work.

I have been a member of a 12-step program since 1998, but did not begin working with a sponsor till after the relapse in 2001. By working the steps, recognizing what led to my relapse, and having the courage to change character defects I am celebrating 8 years of serenity.

With that said, my sponsor (who happens to awesome) has been encouraging me to seek reinstatement of my license (for several years now) - she knew that I had a heart for nursing and that I had been "punishing" myself for the relapse - I was reluctant to call the state board of nursing, as I was sure they would say "no way" (unrealstic fears), but a month ago I made the call and I am currently taking the steps needed to get my license re-instated.

Yes, I will have to take a nursing refresher course, which means theory classes and clinicals. Yes, I will have to re-enter the assistance program, which means monthly drug screens and monitoring meetings. Yes, I will have a key restriction for a time period. But most importantly, yes, I get to take back what my addiction took from me, my nursing career. Wish me luck:)

[FLSmitty]

gj,

Congratulations! That first step of making the call was the hardest for me. Jumping through the hoops was nothing other than expensive, being sober now. I hope you are done "punishing" yourself though. That is not conducive to keeping it together. I had to do my refresher clinical at the hospital I was fired from a dozen years earlier. It took some serious effort to keep from repeating "*** was I thinking" to myself while there. What I did was hunt down my old boss and apologize for all my nonsense years ago. Damn that felt incredible. She was so gracious and understanding it made me weak in the knees.

One suggestion, start networking as soon as possible. The key restriction, absence from nursing and job market have made my job hunt complicated. Now, get out there and do it! Best of luck (although I firmly believe 90% of luck is preparation).

Smitty

[Magsulfate, BSN, RN]

They are not just hoops, they are hoops of fire that you're gonna be jumping through. But, with what you've already been through, it should be easy for you. You will do fine,, and being in a peer assistance program will give you even more experience as a clean nurse. Just think of it as more support and therapy for your addiction.

I know how it feels to love nursing so much ,, and to love life so much that you would do all of these things just to have it. Congratulations on taking the step to go back to nursing!!