Thursday July 20 2023

No Stars In My Eyes · Jul 20, 2023

Thank goodness I slept well and my mood is a bit lighter today.

Had to get us up "early"....at 11 AM, because the ballgame starts at 12:30 PM. They had an interesting pregame today in which one of the announcers (Peter Boylen, an Australian) went to the "lab" where they use computers to track the body movements of pitchers and hitters. I actually have never cared for the man, but watching him actually hit the pitched balls and pitch them himself, I gained some respect for him.

Some of the things that made me po'd at hubby yesterday is that he has a few bad habits that don't seem to improve no matter what. I will say: "You left the freezer (or refrigerator) door open again." -or- "I found the water in the bathroom sink running again." And, lastly, he will go to bed without closing the front door. As those three things are done consistently, it is quite irksome.

Anyway, I am not going to dwell on that today; I'm going to watch the ball game!

No Stars In My Eyes · Jul 20, 2023

Nannie has been asking to go to bed since 2 PM! Hubby has kept her from napping all afternoon, for 2 days in a row! I had to tell her "No. You can't go to bed this early." She said "WHY NOT!??" I said, "You have to eat supper and take your meds and THEN you can go to bed". Finally, about 4:30 I got tired of her asking, so I heated her a Sesame Chicken w/ noodles + veggies frozen meal and now she is eating. She BETTER go to bed when she's finished because I gave her her afternoon AND night meds. She'll be very sleepy in about 30 minutes time.....I hope!

Hubby has gone up to rest in his bed (again). I told him to sleep as long as he likes, as there are other meals in the freezer he can heat up.

Me? I had a Li'l Smokies sandwich with meunster cheese on seeded rye toast. It was good, but I wish I had a better sense of taste! It had different textures, so I enjoyed that. The only thing I really miss the flavor of is Roasted Garlic! I could eat a bunch of that, it's like candy to me....yes, even when I could taste it. Oh well,

I bet you a dollar that when I get Nannie in bed, instead of having a quiet den to myself, hubby will come downstairs. He has his little vodka bottles and he has his Xanax, but I pray he won't combine them. I think that particular prayer probably won't be answered, though. He'll be wobbly on the stairs again. Oh joy.

No Stars In My Eyes · Jul 21, 2023

Aaaaand after I put Nannie to bed, sure enough hubby came down to the den. We were watching the news and Nannie came out of her room all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. She wondered what we were doing. Hubby asked he what she was doing up, so she said she had to go to the bathroom. Two minutes later she came out and headed for her recliner; hubby said, "Where do you think you're going?" (to my chair, she sez) and he responded, "Oh no, no, you begged to go to bed all afternoon; you've had your supper and pills, so now you are going to go right back to bed and go to sleep." She kept walking to her chair, wiggling her butt and bobbing her head, and sat down. I said, . "If I can't have any time to myself down here I'm going up to my room." She said, "Oh, so you don't want to be around me. " I told her I have been her caregiver for OVER six years and have never had a weekend off, or a vacation, and all I do is cater to her whims and never make time for myself, so I am going to TAKE time for myself, NOW!" I picked up my laptop and sippy-cup and went up the stairs. Hubby told her she ran me off. She started being a verbal brat, and hubby told her that when *I* (me, not him) said it was her bedtime, it was her bedtime, no arguments. He told her she had taken all three of her meds at the same time and was just wanting to reel around enjoying being high as a kite, drunk and buzzing, She just sat there. He told me she sat with her eyes drooping closed and he said, "I thought you were going to go to bed?" She admitted she felt a little bit sleepy but didn't want to go to bed. He told her that when she was put in a nursing home, she'd go to bed when THEY told her to, and get up when they told her to, and she wouldn't be able to spend all afternoon napping in her recliner, because they had activities they like the residents to take part in. She didn't much care for that! He said they would take care of her but she wouldn't be able to bow-up on them like she does with us; she'd have to go by their schedule. At that point she sashayed into her room saying "ha-ha-ha!".

I then went back down to the den. A short while later she supposedly had to use the bathroom again, but halted in the doorway and said to me in a sarcastic tone, "What are YOU doing?" I said I was being QUIET and minding my own business. Hubby told her that HER business was to go back to bed and go to sleep. She snorted and slammed her bedroom door. WHEW!

I don't think her Seroquel is holding her in a good place, like it did for so long. I can see her starting to get like she was when she was throwing things at hubby and hitting out before they started her on the seroquel AM and PM. I doubt they'd want her on a third, midday seroquel, but if she is at the nursing home they can decide what they want to give her and then THEY will have to deal with her.

I told hubby that he IS going to call the guy tomorrow about the annuity so we will know what we are working with, and I was hoping to get her in there by the end of next week, if at all possible He can tell the guy what we are looking at, price-wise, and the guy can do a deep search and have the info/papers together for when we have our appt w/ him. If it will work out okay, then I will contact the lady who came over to interview us and check Nannie out, and ask for the availability of beds. I'll take her to have her hair done again, and pack her clothes and zip her right over there.

Hubby told me that "Oh, one of the things you need to do is take the car over to the Auto-Bell and have them wash it, vac it, and shine the tires. I looked at him with a side-eye, and he said ,"Or I guess I could do that.." I told him that was a good idea.

He told me he is going to stop drinking vodka .....and switch to some kind of tequila, because tequila doesn't make his blood sugar go up. and it is a little bit cheaper. I said that I was hoping, without Nannie around to get on his nerves so bad, he MIGHT be able to moderate his drinking some, but maybe that's asking too much. He replied that he would have to "experiment with it a little bit." Huh. I am going to have to tell him again that I do not plan to live and care for him if he continues drinking for the rest of our lives. I don't think he remembers that from the first time I said it last week.

And so it goes.