The Woman's Guide to What Men Really Mean

Nurses Humor

Published

I'm hungry: I'm hungry.

I'm sleepy: I'm sleepy.

I'm tired: I'm tired.

Do you want to go to a movie?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

May I have this dance?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Nice dress!: Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage: I want to fondle you.

What's wrong?: 1What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? 2I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

I'm bored: Do you want to have sex?

I love you: Let's have sex now.

I love you, too: Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair: 1I liked it better before. 2$50 and it doesn't look that much different!

Let's talk: I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

Will you marry me?: I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together: I am gay.

havok

10 Posts

you forgot the classic...

anything you say dear: If I pretend like I'm listening will you stop talking?

Asklepios

94 Posts

That pretty much covers it!!!

Diary/Dairy, RN

1,785 Posts

LOL - Thanks for the posting!!!

nurse healer

7 Posts

ways to turn down unwanted men !!!! [color=maroon][color=maroon]

he: can i buy you a drink?

she: actually i'd rather have the money.

he : i'm a photographer. i've been looking for a face like yours.

she : i'm a plastic surgeon. i've been looking for a face like yours.

he : hi. didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?

she : must've been once. i never make the same mistake twice.

he : how did you get to be so beautiful?

she : i must've been given your share.

he : will you go out with me this saturday?

she : sorry. i'm having a headache this weekend.

he : your face must turn a few heads.

she : and your face must turn a few stomachs.

he : go on ,don't be shy. ask me out.

she : okay, get out.

he : i think i could make you very happy.

she : why? are you leaving?

he : what would you say if i asked you to marry me?

she : nothing. i can't talk and laugh at the same time.

he : can i have your name?

she : why? don't you already have one?

he : shall we go see a movie?

she : i've already seen it.

he : where have you been all my life?

she : hiding from you.

he : haven't i seen you some place before?

she : yes. that's why i don't go there anymore.

he : is this seat empty?

she : yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

he : so, what do you do for a living?

she : i'm a female impersonator.

he : hey baby, what's your sign?

she : do not enter.

he : your body is like a temple.

she : sorry, there are no services today.

he: if i could see you naked, i'd die happy.

she : if i saw you naked, i'd probably die laughing.

NEsoon2beRN

32 Posts

ways to turn down unwanted men !!!! [color=maroon]

[color=maroon]he: can i buy you a drink?

[color=maroon]she: actually i'd rather have the money.

[color=maroon]he : i'm a photographer. i've been looking for a face like yours.

[color=maroon]she : i'm a plastic surgeon. i've been looking for a face like yours.

[color=maroon]he : hi. didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?

[color=maroon]she : must've been once. i never make the same mistake twice.

[color=maroon]he : how did you get to be so beautiful?

[color=maroon]she : i must've been given your share.

[color=maroon]he : will you go out with me this saturday?

[color=maroon]she : sorry. i'm having a headache this weekend.

[color=maroon]he : your face must turn a few heads.

[color=maroon]she : and your face must turn a few stomachs.

[color=maroon]he : go on ,don't be shy. ask me out.

[color=maroon]she : okay, get out.

[color=maroon]he : i think i could make you very happy.

[color=maroon]she : why? are you leaving?

[color=maroon]he : what would you say if i asked you to marry me?

[color=maroon]she : nothing. i can't talk and laugh at the same time.

[color=maroon]he : can i have your name?

[color=maroon]she : why? don't you already have one?

[color=maroon]he : shall we go see a movie?

[color=maroon]she : i've already seen it.

[color=maroon]he : where have you been all my life?

[color=maroon]she : hiding from you.

[color=maroon]he : haven't i seen you some place before?

[color=maroon]she : yes. that's why i don't go there anymore.

[color=maroon]he : is this seat empty?

[color=maroon]she : yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

[color=maroon]he : so, what do you do for a living?

[color=maroon]she : i'm a female impersonator.

[color=maroon]he : hey baby, what's your sign?

[color=maroon]she : do not enter.

[color=maroon]he : your body is like a temple.

[color=maroon]she : sorry, there are no services today.

[color=maroon]he: if i could see you naked, i'd die happy.

[color=maroon]she : if i saw you naked, i'd probably die laughing.

this was so funny, i couldn't stop lauging! :lol2:

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