The New Alphabet

[Fran_Nurse]

the new alphabet

a is for apple, and b is for boat,

that used to be right, but now it won’t float!

age before beauty is what we once said.

but let’s be a bit more realistic instead.

now

a’s for arthritis,

b’s the bad back,

c is the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?

d is for dental decay and decline,

e is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!

f is for fissures and fluid retention,

g is for gas which i’d rather not mention,

h is high blood pressure – i’d rather it low,

i for incisions with scars you can show,

j is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend,

k is for knees that crack when they bend,

l for libido, what happened to sex??

m is for memory, i forget!! what comes next,

n is neuralgia, in nerves way down low,

o is osteo, the bones that don’t grow!

p for prescription’s i have quite a few, just give me a pill and i’ll be good as new!

q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu??

r is for reflux, one meal turns to two,

s for sleepless nights, counting my fears,

t for tinnitus, there’s bells in my ears,

u is for urinary, big troubles with flow,

v is for vertigo, that’s “dizzy” you know,

w is for worry, now what’s going ‘round???

x is for x-ray, and what might be found,

y is another year i’m left here behind,

z is for zest that i still have – in my mind.

i’ve survived all the symptoms, my body’s deployed, and i am keeping twenty-six ‘doctors’ fully employed!!!

[banana]we want latex free gloves[/banana]

[Fran_Nurse]

Any ideas how to improve on this??

Anyone got any better suggestions for any of the letters????

[bANANA]We Want Latex Free Gloves[/bANANA]