The Broken Picker

Because this seems to apply to so many nurses:

After yet another failed relationship, I went to see my grandmother. She’s my friend and confidant. I was whining to her about how badly things had gone and I was wondering why I kept getting involved with these losers.

“You have a broken picker, dear.”

I couldn’t believe it! I come to her for a little comfort and she tells me something is wrong with me?!!

“What do you mean a broken picker?”

“You have a broken man picker. You keep picking out men that are wrong for you!”

The audacity of these words left me speechless. I just figured something was wrong with the men in the world. How could the fault lie with me?

“Let me give you a little advice. . . There are some man rules that you need to learn:

• Never get involved with a man that is less educated than you are. I don’t care how smart he is, or how much he intends to go back to school, it’s not going to work. There is a basic values gap between you that will multiply. You’re well educated, you’ve worked hard, you’ve invested in yourself, and you’ve learned the responsibility of studying and preparation. You can apply these principles elsewhere in life. Someone that is uneducated cannot.
  
• Never get involved with a man that makes less than you do. A man needs to wear the pants in the family. Any man that says he’s comfortable with a woman making more than him is looking for a free ride one way or another.
  
• Never get involved with a man that has radically different views from yours, be it religion, politics, sex, or children. These differences will only become a gap between you that will grow larger between you given time.
  
• Never get involved with a man from a dysfunctional family. He’s probably broken and no amount of your love or good intentions is going to fix him.
  
• Never get involved with a man that is verbally, emotionally, or spiritually abusive. Our lives are hard enough without our partners belittling us.
  
• Never try to change a man. If you’re getting involved with him you better like him just as he is - flaws and all. You cannot change a man. You may be able to influence a behavior or two, like putting down the toilet seat or not tracking mud into the house, but even that is questionable. You cannot change a man.
  
• Never get involved with a man if you don’t like his family. We are each tied to our families in unique ways. Like it or not, when you get involved with the man, you get involved with the family. You better like them. And remember, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
  
• Never get involved with a man that is less ambitious than you are. The man you have in your life should share the same basic goals as you. If you don’t share the same goals, one will end up leaving the other in the dust. This rule can apply to jobs, families, children, religion, etc.
  
• Never get involved with a man that is not an adult. You’ve grown and matured, so make sure that the man you’re involved with has grown and matured. Make sure he can balance his checkbook, pay his bills on time, and has learned the value of saving a penny.
  
• Never get involved with a man that is too old. We age in different ways. Never get involved with a man that is too old chronologically, or a man that is too old in his spirit. It takes a lot of spark to keep a relationship alive. Make sure he’s young enough, but mature enough to grow up with you.
  
• Never get involved with a man that is given to excesses. Moderation is the key to enjoying many things in life including alcohol, food, sex, politics, religion, etc.

You take those rules to heart and you’ll do fine.”

I just had to share this newfound wisdom with my girlfriends.

So here’s to all us girls out there with the broken pickers. And to those whose pickers are fine, consider it a tune-up!