Hello everyone :). I'm Hollybobs and I work in an ICU currently. I'm pretty new to this forum and this may be the wrong part of the forum to post in? I'm sorry if so. I was hoping for advice from anyone with any personal or professional experience/knowledge of supporting a family member with severe clinical depression.
A brief bit of background..."Rosebobs" has a long standing history of depression and can experience troughs like the one she is currently in for years at a time. Her anti-depressants are not working, there is no difference after a year of increasing the dose. She also suffers from anxiety and struggles to leave the house. She is a very private individual and dislikes speaking about her feelings.
I'm aware of ways to help someone with mild-moderate depression e.g. exercise, CBT, counselling, diet changes but these are not possible/working at this point for the reasons mentioned above. Any ideas or guidance or insight appreciated.
Holly, is there any kind of support group in your area for family members who are in your shoes? After all, you are the one reaching out right now, not your loved one. We can all make various suggestions for how to help her, but who's helping you?
I hope you can find a group near you who can help you navigate this; help you be supportive without enabling; how to quit walking the tightrope you've been on. You're going to be exhausted second-guessing yourself. Time for some care for the caregiver.
Hi Tricia, thank you, that's very sweet to think of me :) I really am supported though, I am one of the most supported people I know, in general. I think it would be very useful to find out how other people support their loved ones going through what Rosie's going through, that's also a great idea.
I would post on a depression forum where people who are dealing with the same thing are. There also may be a subforum for friends/family. She is lucky to have you!!!!
Good luck!
Thanks Graduatenurse, that's kind of you to say. I think perhaps because I am a nurse and I like our unique role and perspective I wanted that insight from nurses specifically. I can't put my finger on why I thought input from nurses would be so helpful but it has been. I've tried some stuff out already suggested on here and it has helped. Can't hurt looking at some of the depression forums though, good idea :).
Glad to hear that you have experienced an improvement, I am happy for you, i can almost hear the relief in your words. Thank you for the recommendations too.
I like the phrasing of that question about feeling worse or not. Some days she seems better and i don't know if she is just putting on a brave face and sometimes she seems worse but I don't know if she is just more comfortable and honest that day. I don't have to know those things but it is good to be able to see if there are changes (and what helps/doesnt if anything) and for her to feel comfortable speaking to me by me asking a non-judgemental question.
I can make a thoughtful care basket too, I know she will like the time and thought taken and hopefully feel valued and treasured at least. Pets aren't possible 'cos of house restrictions but would have been lovely! There's a lot in what you said about how to "be", this is what I need to work on, been trying to incorporate this naturally into my interaction style- she doesn't seem better as such and I didn't think she would but I think she seems more relaxed, I hope.
I don't think I can say much about the PCP/ referrals etc due to TOS but she is open to more specialised assessment so hopefully we will see progress there. And I shall look at the Teasdale programme if/when we get to that point, it doesn't sound too rigid or stressful.
Glad to hear that you have experienced an improvement, I am happy for you, i can almost hear the relief in your words. Thank you for the recommendations too.
I like the phrasing of that question about feeling worse or not. Some days she seems better and i don't know if she is just putting on a brave face and sometimes she seems worse but I don't know if she is just more comfortable and honest that day. I don't have to know those things but it is good to be able to see if there are changes (and what helps/doesnt if anything) and for her to feel comfortable speaking to me by me asking a non-judgemental question.
I can make a thoughtful care basket too, I know she will like the time and thought taken and hopefully feel valued and treasured at least. Pets aren't possible 'cos of house restrictions but would have been lovely! There's a lot in what you said about how to "be", this is what I need to work on, been trying to incorporate this naturally into my interaction style- she doesn't seem better as such and I didn't think she would but I think she seems more relaxed, I hope.
I don't think I can say much about the PCP/ referrals etc due to TOS but she is open to more specialised assessment so hopefully we will see progress there. And I shall look at the Teasdale programme if/when we get to that point, it doesn't sound too rigid or stressful.
Thank you :) I most certainly feel a lot of relief you're right! I'm glad some of that can be helpful for you, and glad she is open to more specialized assessment :) Good luck, and I'm sure your support is priceless to her
Hollybobs
161 Posts
Hi Tricia, thank you, that's very sweet to think of me :) I really am supported though, I am one of the most supported people I know, in general. I think it would be very useful to find out how other people support their loved ones going through what Rosie's going through, that's also a great idea.