Sudden Panic

[GJH-RN]

Hi:

I am going to graduate in January. I have only three classes left to go ! I have a problem.

My problem is that I am feeling a surge of "sudden panic." I think that some of you will be able to identify with me, I just need to hear that it's not as bad as what I have dreamed up and that I'll be able to get through it, etc....

I used to be a corpsman in the USN (25 years ago). Being young and dumb I viewed what nurses did as "easy" and not requiring substantial training or ability. I left the Navy and the medical field because I wanted something more rewarding. After 17 years in the corrections field and after being an assistant administrator of a minimum security correctional facility, I was bored to death, stressed out and feeling empty. Every day of those 17 years I wished that I had stayed in the medical field. I had wanted to become a doctor when I was in high school. When I was in the service I got married and those plans went out the window. At that time (1979) I didn't see much of a future in nursing. I knew that I didn't see myself emptying bed pans every day for the rest of my life, so I got out.

I quit my job, got a job as a CNA and enrolled in nursing school. I have a BA and MPA degree. Let me just say that those degree programs were a CAKEWALK compared to what I have experienced these last two years. This by far has been the hardest thing that I have ever done. And you know what, I love it more than ever before.

Like I said, my problem is sudden panic. Now that I realize that it takes so much to be a nurse and much more to be a great nurse, I am suddenly filled with s deep sense of dread and panic. I'm afraid for the first time in my life that I am going into a situation where I'm not really prepared to deal with all of the demands and situations that I will be faced with. My grades in school have been fantastic, and I do very well in my clinical rotations. I get excellent reviews form my instructors, and yet, I am petrified that I am going to screw up and someone is going to die because I didn't know what to do or did something that I should not have done.

Now that I am so close to being done, I am scared to death. I know that others have felt the same way I do because I have heard them talking. That doesn't help except to know that it can be worked through.

One of the things that spurs my panic on is that I know that people make judgements about the abilities and intelligence of others pretty early on in a relationship. I worry about looking stupid and incompetent.

I want to do a great job, I want to become an "expert" in my area of interest, I want more than anything else to help others. I just want to get past these feelings as quickly as possible ! How long does it take to finally feel like you have a handle on things ?

Signed: Don't pay attention to me, I'm just babbling !

[grinnurse, RN]

Hi GJH-

What you are feeling is natural and that is good to some extent b/c you will really be aware of what's going on with your pts.

I just grad in May 05 and in January when I started that final semester I was in your shoes. Then the last month hit and I was FREAKING OUT!!

Don't worry about looking stupid. Most of your co-workers don't expect you to know everything straight out. You will learn something new everyday and even the seasoned nurses can be stumped on occasion as to what's happening. I have been working on a MS unit for nearly 3 months and everyday I gain a wee bit more confidence in my judgement and skills but still asking tons of questions. That's the only way that I learn other than making mistakes.

Take a deep breath and get through school. You are going to be fine-just breathe!! Good luck finishing up.

[christvs, DNP, RN, NP]

Hi! You are totally normal, don't worry! :) I was the same way too ( I just graduated from nursing school in May 2005). I know I felt pressure (mostly from myself) during my last semester cuz I felt "NOW" I'll hopefully know what's going on! :) I had all As in nursing school & felt I did fine in clinicals, but now as a new RN I have to get used to not knowing everything & to just accept I'm new still & am still learning & to just know I can get help whenever I need it. You can do it! Good luck with your last semester! :) Best wishes.

-Christine

[Bijou-Spice]

Like christvs & grinnurse I just graduated too. My advice is to get as much experience during clinicals that you can. I felt I had a lack of experiences during clincals and now feel somewhat awkward saying "No, I haven't done that...such as I have never put a foley in a female pt, (something basic I should have had a chance to do).

Ask your classmates if they have done a particular procedure and have a second opportunity, ask if you can do it. Share the procedures. I know it is tough because you are limited by the things your patients need. But see if you can go to other floors that might have for example several NG tube insertions.

I am annoyed with myself that I have to say "No, I have never done that." My one preceptor is very kind and works with me so those days are still fun, but the other is sarcastic and makes comments "what did you learn." Oh well.

So make a list of the basic skills you want to accomplish before you get out tube feedings, inserting NG tube...you know what you want. So even if you only get one chance when you arrive at your new job you can feel more confident! Good luck and I know you will be fine!